Help Me Keep My Sense of Humor About This...

S

sparrow

Cathlete
Okay I hope no one minds if I go off for a bit!

I've posted here before about how much I dislike where we are living. A few months ago I threatened to leave without DH and he finally agreed to move. Just in case anyone thinks I'm totally foolish, we can well afford it. He doesn't want to move because we are living in one of our own rental units, and basically have no rent or mortgage, because the rents pay the mortgage on our apartments. He started doing this while he was a bachelor and it worked fine. He was never home, so what did he care about the state of the 'hood? He just liked having all that $$. Well I LOATHE living here. Every day I feel sick and frustrated about it even though we are looking at houses. We want acreage and privacy though so it's taking a little time. I'm finding it more and more difficult to hang on. Honestly, I'm ready to move in with my sister until we find a place. I'm trying not to be a b&%ch to DH but part of me feels like he should have listened to me two years ago when I said, hon, I can't live in this neighborhood, it's not for me. He blew me off and now I feel like I have no more emotional reserves left to get through until we find a house. I'm truly fresh out of ideas as to how to maintain my humor about it.

Whew! Thanks for the vent, ladies. :D

Sparrow


Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
Sparrow - this WILL pass. You and DH will find a fabulous place to call your own, and then you can look back and laugh and tell stories that are funny about the things that have happened. Or stories that will make people gasp in disbelief. You're a writer. Write those stories in your head now. Or write them down. Good fodder, don't you think?;)
 
Write a script about it! Makes for good TV sitcom material! By the way, what kind of script did you sell? Movie? TV? I'd LOVE to do that.
Just Do It! :)
 
>If it doesn't make you gag! It's hard to believe we've come
>this far since the 1950s.

My husbasnd and I have had a blast with this!! I think it's hysterical.

Michele
 
Thanks Honeybunch and Shelley, you are right! I'm going to try and think of it as a dramatic experience and something to apply to my stories. Excellent, that does help.

As for the Perfect Wife, well I guess I blew the whole "don't bother him with your problems keep home a peaceful place" thing when I greeted him at the door with an enraged, "you'll never %$^&&^& believe what these $%^%^# neighborhood kids have been up to today and I had to sit here all %&^&^& day and listen to their &%^$..."

Do I count as a good wife if I yell at him with a ribbon in my hair? :p

Now I'm laughing and feel like I can make it through. Thanks, Michele.

Sparrow



Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
>Thanks Honeybunch and Shelley, you are right! I'm going to
>try and think of it as a dramatic experience and something to
>apply to my stories. Excellent, that does help.
>
>As for the Perfect Wife, well I guess I blew the whole "don't
>bother him with your problems keep home a peaceful place"
>thing when I greeted him at the door with an enraged, "you'll
>never %$^&&^& believe what these $%^%^# neighborhood kids have
>been up to today and I had to sit here all %&^&^& day and
>listen to their &%^$..."
>
>Do I count as a good wife if I yell at him with a ribbon in my
>hair? :p
>
>Now I'm laughing and feel like I can make it through. Thanks,
>Michele.
>
>Sparrow
>
>
>
>Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of
>arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but
>rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn
>out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage



:7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7

It could only be improved upon by wearing a single strand of pearls and a pair of high heels.

Hey, I love your signature line!

Michele
 
>:7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7
>
>It could only be improved upon by wearing a single strand of
>pearls and a pair of high heels.


You forgot the housedress and the apron!!! :p

Missy
 
My personal favorite is:

"Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work"

I can tell you that it doesn't matter what he did when he was out, it is definitely minor compared to the hell he will be in when he gets home! Can you just see it as described in the guide?: "Oh, dear, what COULD you have been going through all night without calling? And I wonder why there is lipstick on your collar? Oh, well. Here is breakfast in bed dear! How rough your life must be!" barf, barf, barf

Missy
 
>Here's a little something to spark your sense of humor. Have
>a look at the Good Wife's Guide:
>
>http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/misc/days.pdf
>
>Michele:)

Those of you that think it's funny because this is supposed to have come from a 1950s book will really find it funny that I just read it in a book titled "A Woman After God's Own Heart" that was published in the 1990s and the author was DEAD SERIOUS about it. Not to preach but I don't think that even a Christian woman needs to do this garbage EVERY day. I do think it's nice on occassion but...YIKES

Now to respond to Sparrow...Do you really think your issues stem from the neighborhood or from a problem in your relationship? I am asking in all sincerity. You say you & DH are trying to find the right home. That's going to take some time (as you noted). Don't rush it. Moving in with your sister would be a mistake IMHO. You can't have a decent releationship if you aren't livign with your husband.

Before moving out, take a good hard look at what the issues really are. Talk about it with DH. I mean REALLY talk about it. Don't yell and if he begins to yell, tell him that you will only continue the conversation if he speaks civily (is that a real word?). No I don't think you sound as though you've decided to move out. But it does sound like you haven't really gotten him to listen. And BE SURE TO OWN YOUR FEELINGS. Don't tell him "you've made me..." I always use "I feel like you don't..." Works wonders I'm speaking from experience...21 years of saying "you've made me" and 1 year of "I feel like..."

Keep your chin up & take your $^%&#@ neighbor kids with a grain of salt. It's only for a few more months while you look for the perfect home--once you find it, it will be the perfect home!!!
 
HBC,

Thanks so much for your insight! The situation definitely revealed a problem in our relationship and we have been talking about it these last six months or so. I explained to DH, and I think he got it - actually I know he got it - that it made me feel devalued that I had to be a screaming shrew before he took me seriously about our living situation. I think it's something of a man thing too: I think he didn't want to deal with it, so he figured I would eventually get tired of talking about it if he ignored me long enough (ignore isn't the right word but I'm sure you get what I mean). Of course I'm not perfect in this either, I *absolutely* could have found a better way to deal with it. But we're talking and moving past it. I agree too about going to my sister's. Believe me I want to flee some days, but I also know that it would do damage to my marriage that might take years to fix. And, I can't run away when DH and I hit rough times, either in our marriage or our lives in general. Wow, I sound like a grown-up! :D

Sparrow


Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
Michele, that is too funny. I just showed it to my DH and told him that since he works from home, and I'm the one who comes home at night, he should have a fresh ribbon in his hair. LOL. :7 :+ :p
 
Nancy,

That is too funny:7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7 :7
Honestly, my DH and I have had a blast with this! I think a good sense of humor goes a very long way towards keeping a relationship grounded and fresh. You just can't take everything so seriously all the time. It melts away the strife and helps you look at things with new eyes.

Michele
 
I *absolutely* could
>have found a better way to deal with it. But we're talking
>and moving past it. I agree too about going to my sister's.
>Believe me I want to flee some days, but I also know that it
>would do damage to my marriage that might take years to fix.
>And, I can't run away when DH and I hit rough times, either in
>our marriage or our lives in general. Wow, I sound like a
>grown-up! :D
>
>Sparrow

I don't check in everyday and just came in to see if you saw my response to you. You absolutely do sound like a grown up. I'm glasd you and DH are talking. Keep those lines of communication open--yeah, been the screaming shrew, too! It really uscks when you feel like you are not valued in your relationship--been there, too! Actually considered divorce to get his attention--got it, got very intense counseling. Now we talk about anything and everything & life is so much better.

I wish you all the best. Have a happy holiday & good luck in your house hunting. After the holidays it will get easier!
 
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