Eharmony or match.com ???

[newswoman13]

Hi, smart women!

I thought I'd come here for some solid advice. I'm single in the city and am looking to date. It's been a long time, and I am willing to open myself up to trusting again, to putting myself out there. I use the analogy: "it's like exercise, some people hate it, but they know they've gotta do it anyway."

I think it'll just take the first couple coffee dates to get over my anxiety (see anxiety/worry wart thread someone else started!), but I'm trying to decide between Eharmony and match.com. Eharmony seems a little more serious, a little more in depth....whereas match now has Dr. Phil's formula, which makes it more "sophisticated". Eharmony is about 30% more expensive.

I might sign up for both for a month, then see what happens, but I just want to see if anyone on cathe.com has experienced either of the two -- your thoughts, experiences, advice, etc.

I'm not necessarily looking for someone to marry. I want to have fun but with real people, NOT cheesy hookups. See what happens from there...

Anyone wanna share??

P.S., I am in Atlanta -- that might help your feedback.

Thanks so much,
Caroline

 

[pixiesis]

Hi Caroline,

Sorry, I don't really have any advice for you, but I wanted to let you know that one of our good friends met his fiancee on eharmony. They really are perfect for eachother. He hadn't had much luck with ladies before this, so perhaps there is something special about eharmony. Good luck!

Amy

 

[nancy324]

Caroline,
I have nothing much to offer, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm excited for you. It is soooo wonderful that these kinds of dating services exist now. My stepson and his wife met on jdate (or whatever it's called) and they are PERFECT for each other!

Although you probably don't need advice, I'm going to share some with you anyway in case it helps. I was in the same position as you are now 10 years ago, and I was seeing a counselor who told me to make a list of all of those characteristics I was looking for in a partner, then throw out any that weren't non-negotiable. He said that compromise was very important, but there are some things that should never be compromised. So, although I would have liked to have met someone who shared my love of gourmet dining, I was willing to let that go. But it was non-negotiable that I wanted someone who respected me, believed in me, and genuinely wanted to see me happy. So, long story short, I married a guy who respects me and believes in me, and is willing to go out to dinner more often then he likes because he knows it makes me happy. :+

I apologize for offering advice you probably didn't need, but I just thought that it never hurts to hear the important stuff again, right?


Lots of luck to you and please let us know how it goes!
-Nancy

 

[hokypoky]

My sister did match.com first - had quite a few dates. Now she is/was with eharmony (dating a super nice guy she met through eharmony). It seemed like with eharmony there were more steps in place to eliminate guys that were not as compatible. She liked the approach better.

 

[sparrow]

I did Match.com and Drip. Both were fine though I did not meet anyone special. I will say though that if you are looking to get past some social/dating anxiety Match and eHarmony are great ways to go, IMO. You may not meet your soul mate but you'll probably have a nice time with various nice men and become comfortable with getting back out there.

Good luck! Let us know what happens.

Sparrow


Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage

 

[Lean Lori]

My cousin just married a guy she met on eharmony. She thought it was a fantastic program. Good luck!

Lori

 

[newswoman13]

Thanks so much, everyone!

Nancy324, I always welcome real stories and advice! A friend of mine uses jdate here and there...nothing serious yet, but she's also taking it lightly, more focused on career right now. Congrats to your stepson. And, you're right, I would love to date a man who wants to take step aerobics with me, but I might have to let that one slide. It is about being open...right timing...give and take, but "know thyself"!

And, someone recently gave me the analogy that dating is like lasagna. You might like the lasagna, but ravioli is similar, and so is spaghetti. Try out the different flavors, see what you like.

Again, thank you all - I will keep you posted. Match still seems so random, but I might try it for a month anyway...Eharmony takes a little more time and effort with the compatability system, which tells you something about the other person's intentions, too! Like I said, I'll keep you all posted.

Take good care!