An upsetting reaction

Fitnik

Cathlete
DH and I are slowly telling family members that we are expecting. My mum has known for ages and was thrilled and excited when I told her. My infamous MIL was also thrilled when we told her - no surprises there. My father, however, was so cool about the news, almost to the point of being indifferent! After talking to him on the phone, I burst into tears because I couldn't believe his reaction. DH then called him back and he said he'd been feeling unwell etc.. - but still! He hadn't even told my step mum the news and when we told her she was over the moon, shrieking etc.. and asking for all sorts of details.

Is this yet another example of how men react so differently to pg news? This will be the first grandchild for both sets of parents yet I was stunned by my father's reaction. Anyone else experienced this?

Your friend in fitness, Fitnik
 
I sure he'll be OK

I am sure your dad will be a wonderful grandfather once he holds his first grandbaby. DH is not really into pregnancies - he won't go to childbirth classes, doctor's appointments, etc. and he showed little excitement when I actually became pg with any of the children (I'm expecting our 3rd). However he is the best dad to our children that I could dream of.

I did have a negative reaction from my SIL. She called us 'stupid' and asked how old I am. Guess she thinks 38 is too advanced an age for having a baby - haha - or maybe 3 children is over our quota. Fortunately, she's been OK with it since the initial reaction.

Windy
 
RE: I sure he'll be OK

My brother had a similar reaction. He said (in a monotone voice), "wow, that's great. so, how's work?" I realized later that this has more to do with him than me. I guess you can never tell how someone is going to react!

Anyway, I'm sure that Windy is right. Once he holds the baby, he'll be a wonderful grandfather!

Diana
 
RE: I sure he'll be OK

My father's reaction was also cold. A couple of years ago, he had warned me that if we ever have children, no offense, but he wouldn't see much of us, because he really doesn't like kids. He had mentioned this a few times over the years. When I told him the news. His reaction was, "oh, cute". And not much more than that.

Luckilly, he is planning to move to Florida just days after my baby is born, so I won't have to waste my time being hurt or disappointed by his lack of interest.
 
RE: I sure he'll be OK

Even if someone is not thrilled with the news that should at least "act" happy for you. I would have been crushed if my dad had been indifferent. He was actually the most thrilled with the news and actually beat my husband and I to the hospital when I was in labor. He got to the hospital and was wondering where his pregnant daughter was. LOL!!!! Anyway, my mother did not have the reaction I would have liked but she was still happy about it. She kind of made an "oh brother" kind of face but I was so happy about it that it didn't bother me. Of course my parents keep my son every chance they get and absolutely adore him. It's their first grandchild!

I guess, I wrote a book to say this. Don't worry about your dad's reaction because as soon as he sees that precious bundle he will love it even more than you can imagine right now! Different people react differently to stuff like that so just BEEEEEE HAPPPPPPYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

Kelly http://www.sgtfuzzbubble99.homestead.com/files/Smilies/De_Niro/eeyore.gif
 
RE: I sure he'll be OK

Bottom line: your life, your decisions, your baby...anyone that has 'issues' with it well...don't let the door hit you on the way out. Live and let live. Never let someone elses' opinion keep you from being happy, regardless if that someone else is a relative.
 
Oh, Fitnik, I'm so sorry your dad didn't have the warm reaction you'd hoped for. I know you must be disappointed and hurt. It's probably especially bad right now, when your hormones are making you super-emotional anyway (at least mine were pretty wacko with the first baby!). One of the very first friends I told about my first pregnancy actually said, and I quote, "You know, you can DO something about that." It was incredibly hurtful, and offensive to boot.

I do agree, though, that even the most indifferent grandparents will come around when the little critter finally makes his or her appearance. Until then, know that WE are all excited for you!
 
Hazel..you have a "friend" that said there was something you could DO about your pregnancy? Holy, man, we must have different definitions of friends. That is ugly. I can't even imagine how that must have made you feel.
 

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