need help/advice from moms

E

emy

Cathlete
So my 2 years & 3 month old toddler son is getting very challenging (big shock, right!) I really need advice from those who have experience.

I am a SAHM having a hard time keeping him stimulated with activities. I need advice on activities to do with him that he will enjoy AND activities that he can do while in the room, but not doing them with him so I can get some cleaning done. Also, the challenging part is that I have a 5 month old! Any ideas from those with experience staying home with young children and balancing meeting both children's needs.

More info: I have tried basic ideas like coloring with him, but he instead likes to throw crayons and break them and isn't really into the concept yet. I think because he is a boy, he is not fond of activities that involve sitting and doing anything for more than 2 minutes.

Please help!
 
Sounds like you have the same age split I do - mine are 17 months apart.
When my kids were that little, it seemed impossible to get them to sit still and let me clean. My husband traveled full time.

I mostly cleaned while they napped or when they went to bed. There just wasn't a lot of time or energy to get the older one into an activity for 30 minutes or so. My trick was to use the TV very, very sparingly and never leave it on "for noise". If it was on, they were watching it. My daughter would wait all day to watch a 30 minute program because she knew it was going to be her only tv time that day. We count computer games the same as TV, so they very rarely get to use them and when they do, they stay on task.

Hate to have such lame advice, but I tried forts and boxes and coloring and all kinds of stuff. My daughter is a really good sitter and stays on task, but if I wanted to run the vacuum or do more heavy cleaning, the one eyed babysitter had to be called into play.

I did get them to help a little at 3 by giving them a damp rag and having them wipe. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.


Melissa

Keep your head in line. Your butt will follow.

http://www.picturetrail.com/pellmel
 
Hi,

I have girls two years apart. I read your post and am just sitting here thinking of what Olivia did when she was two. I tried to spend time with her reading (although she had and still does have a great attention span) and watching her favorite videos "The Donut Man". I do not know how different girls and boys are as far as activities go but Olivia did enjoy helping me in the kitchen, washing dishes. I would let her 'wash' non breakable dishes in the sink and set to dry on towels on counter. She did make a mess but she was occupied for at least a half hour or so. I could do things in the kitchen while she washed. She also enjoyed using a wipe and 'cleaning' the house. My daughters are now 2 and 4 and it is still challenging to keep them occupied and not fighting. I just have to lower my standards for my house and do the best I can. Some days better than others! Mostly I try to get them involved with what I am doing, and try to be as patient as I can and remember some day they won't be so small and excited to wash the mirror or windows with me!!

Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
Best Wishes to you,
Mary
 
Hi there,

I feel your pain. I'm a SAHM of a six year old boy and a three year old girl. The thing that saved my sanity was playpen time and room time. I recommend starting with your five month old right away if she (he?) can sit up, or as soon as sitting up is acheived. Put the baby in the play pen with a few engaging toys and work yourself up from 15 min to possibly one hour. He (she) might whine or cry at first, but if you make sure they are in a spot where you can see them but they can't see you, they will learn after a few times.

Since your 2 yr old didn't start with playpen time, room time might be harder to get going, but it's worth it. Put a baby gate on his door and work from 15 minutes up to one hour of play time WITHOUT mom. It's awesome when it works out. Your son might throw a fit at first, but I never had a problem letting my kids cry things out when I knew nothing was actually wrong. If that's not okay with you, you might not be able to get this going. I promise, though, both my kids did it and it's great for getting them to use their imagination and working on concentration.

Main points: You can see them, but they can't see you, and only a few toys in the playpen (otherwise your five month old might get overwhelmed and not be able to entertain him or herself)

HTH,

Kelly
 
One thing I did was play "Hide and Seek" with the kids when they were little. While they are hiding, I would count loudly and grab stuff to put away and dust. The 5 month old will not get the game yet, of course, but if he/she is like my second he/she'll walk at 10 months to keep up with his big brother! :)
 
I really appreciate your responses!

Another thing that I didn't really convey well in my original post is that since my toddler has gotten challenging, I am just seeing my total lack of experience as far as what he should DO all day. He is full of mischief if I am not all over him. And I can't be all over him all of the time while nursing a baby girl. AND, he still doesn't talk so it is hard to communicate with him.

I hate to sound lame, but I wish I had a manual. I need to be reading "What to Do With a 2-Year-Old" - does anyone own the manual? Anyway, do any SAHMs of young children care to share a slice of their daily life with me? I really need your help!

FYI- Part of the difficulty has arisen since my husband has been gone 50% of the time during the month of December, eliminating my relief pitcher in the evenings. It has very challenging.
 
I'm SOOO glad to see someone endorsing playpens! I thought no one used them anymore, but I think they are a parent's blessing! I had 2 kids 11 months and 3 weeks apart, and I could not have done it without a playpen! Really, mothers, your kids will grow up just fine if you use playpens. This also helps solve the dilemma of moms wondering how to workout with babies and toddlers in the house. It's not too late to put that on your list of stuff for Santa to buy YOU!!! Baby gates, too. Kelly, THANKS for your reply on this!
Just Do It! :)
 
This has to be Mom supervised, but can be from a distance...I pull out the Play-dough as a special treat. When my boy was 2, it had to be only one color out at a time, otherwise he would mix the colors. I let him play with it inside of a cookie sheet, to define the work space.

We bake cookies/brownies/cakes together. They love to help add the ingredients and mix. Cut out cookies are a favorite, too!

I have my kids "read" books to me, too. We cut up paper and staple together and draw pictures and then they read them to me.

Noggin.com
thomasthetankengine.com
pbs.org

There are a lot of educational websites that we visit together and explore the games.

My son also loves trains, so I set up a track for him and he will play for about a half an hour with his trains.

Another vote for letting them "help" you with chores. My kids love to fold laundry. It doesn't look anything like it should, but they love to help out!

I have a toddlers activity book that has a ton of ideas for things to do. When I have no imagination I go there and find ideas! The kids love that book since they know it means that they will get to do something fun!

Good luck!

Jenn
 
As the mom of a VERY active 4-yr old boy, I do understand. Some kids have a high energy level and need to have a physical outlet for their energy EVERY day. My son is this way and he can be pretty miserable when the weather gets bad and he can't get outside to burn off some of his energy.

At 2 1/2, there really wasn't much that enertained my son for very long at all. Fifteen minutes was really the most amount of time that he could stay focused to do any one thing. Even now, he isn't much different, except that he can figure out what he wants to do, instead of me having to suggest what he could do next.

Here are a few ideas that have worked for me:

1. Playdough --great suggestions provided above and it provide and outlet for some of their excess energy.

2. Balloons -- you can bat one around while you vacuum and clean.

3. Put about an inch of water in your kitchen sink and let him play in it with a wire whisk. My son loved this! Yes, the water will splash all over, but it is just water and you can wipe it up

4. Can you find a play group to join or a mom's club. Sounds like the interaction would be great for both of you. You might check with your pediatrician's office for a listing.

5. Story time at a local library. We do this once a week and it is a good structured time. Your son is not too young. He might need to sit on your lap in order to listen to the story.

Just some thoughts! Good Luck.

Tina
 
Emy, email me at [email protected] and I'll tell you about a wonderful book/tape series that worked wonders for me. That's where I got the playpen time and room time. It's totally fine if you're not interested, but I know it could help you if you find you're open to trying it.

Hang in there!

Kelly
 
Ok, one more word of advice here! I took my son to a group called ECFE (early childhood family education). This was sponsored by my school district. I'm wondering if your school district has the same thing. You should check that out, because it was a great learning tool for both of us. WE had play time for a half an hour with the children and then for another half hour we would seperate from our children and go into another room where we could still hear and go take care of them if they needed us. Of course there was a teacher with them at all times, but sometimes no one can take care of them like mom! Anyway, during that seperation time you can talk to other moms with children of the same age and voice any hardships or milestones that you've experienced. Jacob, now 5, still remembers how fun it was to go play with the other children. He's too old now, this class if for preschoolers and younger.

Kathy
 
Wow, how did I miss a mom post? Haha. I have a nearing two year old and understand the need for activities. I belong to two mother's groups so there is almost always something going on that we can attend in the mornings and/or afternoons. If not the groups, then errands. My point is I do whatever I can to tire Aiden out so he is ready for a good long nap and then I can get stuff done in the house -be it my workout, cleaning, or whatever. Hope this helps some!


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"


Debbie
 
Thanks for these ideas, fellow moms!

I am committing right now to get him more involved with the activities I am doing. I noticed that he imitates some of the cleaning we do, like wiping the counter and sweeping the floor. And the other day when he climbed on the counter, he went to the sink and started scrubbing it with the pot scrubber. I have an early opportunity to get him into some good, helpful habits!

I do feel it would be helpful to get out and do some activities with others, but I have been putting it off because I feel it is an enormous task trying to get a baby and toddler ready to leave the house. If it were just my toddler and I, we would probably get out a lot more. Unfortunately, most of the young children in my neighborhood go to daycare during the day so there are not a lot of options for no hassle get togethers.

You all are very encouraging (that goes a long way!) and I will try your ideas to see what clicks with my little guy. If any one else wants to jump with their 2 cents in that would be great too!

Edited to add: And yes, I have a play pen. Why I don't use it more is a mystery. I need to take it out of the empty room where it is sitting all by it's lonesome and USE IT!
 
Here's just a list of things I've tried with my little ones. Maybe others can add to it to help you out.

My daughter loved to play in the water. I would put her on a chair at the sink and let her play with measuring cups, tuperware, and stuff. Kids learn great math by playing with measuring cups. I could work in the kitchen while she did this. He might like to wash his cars? I would also put things that sink and float in the sink, and let her experiment with that.

I would put rice on the tray of her high chair and let her play with it. She was very tactile and loved to mess with it. Shaving cream works well the same way too. Does create a bit of a mess!

Homemade play dough is great. The stuff you buy is too hard for little kids to manipulate very well.

Get your kids on a nap schedule where they nap at the same time at least once a day. This will save your life. I know this sounds harsh, but you might have to let the older one cry a time or two before he realizes you mean business, and nap time is nap time.

I firmly believe in an occasional video. There are so many good ones out there for little ones.

Just a few ideas to get you started. My toddler is a girl, so I don't know how well these ideas will work with a boy. Don't push the crayons and stuff. He will do this when he's ready. Try finger paints instead of crayons. Yes, they are messy, but they feel so great, and are so easy for kids to manipulate. I keep a big roll of butcher paper on hand that works great for fingerpaints on the slick side and markers and crayons on the other side. The big space it provides is great for little ones. They have a hard time containing their creativity to a 8x11 piece of paper. We forget that kids aren't born with fine motor skills. Crayons and pencils can be really frustrating to a child who isn't ready for them.
 
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