Terri Schiavo Dies

dani21496

Cathlete
I expressed to my DH that if that happened to me to keep me alive!! I also put it in writing. He said he'd never pull my feeding tube and starve me to death if I were in her condition. I told him if I were clinically brain dead, couldn't open my eyes, etc. and needed a ventalator to then go ahead and pull the plug. He also agrees that there's a huge difference.

He also said he'd never go off and "move on" and have kids with another woman if I were in that condition. He'd stay by my side until the end and would never give up on me. He doesn't care if it were 70-100 years...he'd never give up on me.

Dana Reeve stuck by Christopher until the very end. Nancy Reagan stood by her husband for years until the end. Neither of them "moved on". To me, that's what true love and marriage is all about. The vows "Foresaking all others...in sickness and in health...until death do us part" mean everything to us.
 

PUPSWIFE

Cathlete
"Dana Reeve stuck by Christopher until the very end. Nancy Reagan stood by her husband for years until the end. Neither of them "moved on". To me, that's what true love and marriage is all about. The vows "Foresaking all others...until death do us part" mean everything to us."

Exactly! Which is why this case with Terri is so disturbing. Her "husband" made the determination that Terri wanted to die, not Terri herself. By all appearances, Terri had become a burden for him. In Florida, you need a written contract to conduct business over $500, but not to pull the feeding tube on a person. It's tragic and appalling. The law needs to be changed. The courts screwed up on this one and an innocent woman was killed. Who are we or anyone else to say she should be "allowed" to die?

Dani, you and your DH sound much like me and my DH. :)
 

dlavie

Cathlete
I've lurked a long time on this.

I'm sure Terri is in a better place.

Her parents were steadfast in their beliefs.
Her husband awas steadfast in his belief.

We will never know the truth in her wishes, one side is right, the other is wrong.

What sickened me is the behavior of everyone, including all of us. Who are we to judge anyone? All of the conservatives urging uas to err on the side of life couldn't convince how many judges, how many court appointed medical investigators? When they couldn't convince us with the facts, they started the personal attacks on the husband.

On the other side of the argument, I didn't hear any smear campaign against the parents. The news media, CNN, MSNBC reported about the father's greed. A breaking story that was eclipsed by Terri's death was that the father was SELLING the addresses of any contributors to the other right to life groups (ironically, the story was called "Shindler's list"). Where is the smear campaign from the liberals on this one?

Some of the later stories said the argument all began years ago because dad thought husband should be sharing the settlement. $1M goes pretty fast with medical care and legal care.

My sleaze test that I offer is this:

Who will keep this story alive, who will write the first book to capitalilze on the story?

If Michael has been true to her wishes and only with her as his concern, he will quietly try to retreat and move on with his life. On the other hand, if he nails the book circuit first and keeps the profits then maybe his naysayers painted him correctly.

Then again if Bob Schindler writes that book first and keeps bashing Michael then we'll know the truth about whether it was greed or not.

I am not without compassion for people with difficulties, I am the father of twins, they are almost 17, a boy and a girl. We deal with Autism, bipolar depression and ADHD. I am a firm believer in the reverence of life, my difference in opinion lies in the definition of life. My years of parenthood have been loaded with difficulty, wrestling with your child trying to hold a 10" kitchen knife from killing themself or you brings in a whole new perspective. If Terri had been my child she would have been allowed to die much earlier in this ordeal.

Terri was the ONLY person who was innocent in this mess>

Dave
 

candi

Cathlete
Here, here, Dave. The voice of reason.


How selfish is a love where you expect that person to sacrifice the rest of their life because an unforseen tragedy occured. I would also want DH to to find someone else and live the rest of his life as happy as he possibly could.

Christopher Reeve and Ronald Reagan came from totally different worlds. A world where there was a hell of a lot of money, fame and prestige that would encourage a SO to stick around. Also, they were functional to some extent. It astounds me that someone would think their lives are a valid comparison.
 

betsylz

Active Member
Thank you Dave and Candi. Sometimes people are too quick to believe all the rumors out there, especially if the rumors support their "side".
 

dani21496

Cathlete
>
>
>How selfish is a love where you expect that person to
>sacrifice the rest of their life because an unforseen tragedy
>occured. I would also want DH to to find someone else and live
>the rest of his life as happy as he possibly could.
>
>Christopher Reeve and Ronald Reagan came from totally
>different worlds. A world where there was a hell of a lot of
>money, fame and prestige that would encourage a SO to stick
>around. Also, they were functional to some extent. It
>astounds me that someone would think their lives are a valid
>comparison.


I completely disagree with you Candi. That's not selfish. How utterly insulting! DH would do it for me because HE wants to. I would do it for him because *I* wanted to. How is that selfish? My DH just read your comment and he's laughing right now.

Nancy and Dana did not stay with their husbands because of money, fame and prestige either. What a joke! It astounds me how someone would compare Terri to someone like my cousin who is clinically brain dead and on a ventilator right now.
 

candi

Cathlete
Dani,

You have a right to your beliefs as I do mine. I am a lot older than you and my life experiences are much different than yours, I'm sure. Thank goodness we both live in a country that encourages diverse thinking.

I don't know how you know what was in Nancy and Dana's hearts but I see the situation differently. I just don't see any comparison.

As far as family being on ventilators go, I have a lot of experience. Two Decembers ago my father was on one for a month due to his smoking after the doctors told him he would die if he continued to do so. He died. Two weeks after my father got sick, my 16 year old neice in Georgia was put on a ventilator due to her lungs shutting down from pneumonia. I flew up to Georgia to be with my sister because my mother was taking care of my father. I witnessed my neice deteriorating and my sister's fear confusion and grief my neice finally died a month later. My sister pulled the plug only after my neice's eyes filled up with blood because her brain was hemmoraging. My sister lived through the horror of watching her daughter die this way. Her life is still a nightmare witnessing my neice's demise. People say, "Yeah, I'll be there everyday and I'll do this and I'll do that", but my opinion is, unless you witness the eyes of a person in that condition and see the hollowness in the eyes where you can see there is no life behind them, that's the moment of truth.
 

dani21496

Cathlete
Candi,

I am going to agree to disagree with you at this point.
I'm 36, I didn't think you were that much older. Like Terri, I was bulimic for many years (not a choice btw, but a vicious psychological cycle which was nearly impossible to break out of) and also married to an abusive, unfaithful husband in the past too. So, our life experiences are definitely playing a role in our opinons... I agree.


I'm very, very sorry about your dad and your niece. My brother also passed away in Sept. of 2003 at the age of 34. It devastated our family.
 

candi

Cathlete
I'm 50, Dani. You have a very young son yet to raise. I've raised my daughter and she is living a happy life. I've found a wonderful man to love, like you have. I am very content at this point in my life and feel like despite my unhappiness in my first marriage, I've been blessed. I love my life and don't want to die now but if I did, that would be okay. I don't really know what happens to us after death but dying is part of the process of life and I accept that.
 

wendymin72

Cathlete
This is a general post to all:

I have learned my lesson...I will NEVER post on a "hot" o/t issue on these boards again. I have posted my opinnions on such topics only to be met with hostility, anger and the like and I see it happening to others as well.

It angers me that people have to voice thier opinnions/disagreements with one another in such a harsh fashion. I always try to be kind and considerate when disagreeing with others but it seems no matter how NICE one tries to be, there are still some that insist on attacking/flaming you for your opinnion. It's not right. It's okay to have a difference of opinnion. It's okay even to question why another thinks the way they do. This is what makes us individuals BUT it's not okay to be rude or to make someone feel like cr*p for voicing an opinnion that does not agree with yours.

Sorry, but I had to vent. I have spoken my peace and do not wish to be flamed for it but if you choose to do so, know that your post will be ignored and go unanswered.

~Wendy~

I smoked my last cigarette on March 17, 2004 at 10:00 pm!

http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?WENDYMIN

http://lilypie.com/days/050519/1/0/1/-5/.png[/img]
EDD: 05/19/05
 

dani21496

Cathlete
I agree with you Wendy. I'm glad Candi and I have come to the point where we've decided to agree to disagree.

I'm going to try and keep my *opinions* to myself and stay out of these sorts of topics in the future.

I think most people were pretty civil on this thread though. I've seen a lot worse, believe me.
 

candi

Cathlete
I agree with Dani on this one!

I thought the thread was very civil based on past threads on emotional topics.

Listen, girls, it's okay to have opinions. It's okay to let them be known. It appears that the past few months of arguments on this website have taught us we can have opposing views and not get ugly. And even if we do get a bit ugly, we can come to terms with each other.

:)
 

ZT27

Cathlete
And some people are more pushy about their opinions than others and get annoyed if the person doesn't agree with that person. That is WRONG. If the people disagree with grace and move on, that is a lot better.

Dani, I agree with you! I don't see what's wrong with being with someone you deeply love until the end. ROn and Nancy had one of the most powerful love out there. You could tell they still loved each other until the end. The Schiavos are totally different. Mike does not care about her. If he did, he wouldn't have been running around with other women. Frankly, I think this whole conversation with Terri, Mike, the parents, etc is very tiring now. I'm not talking about here on Cathe's forum, I'm talking about generally. We do not know the truth behind the whole thing. Only her parents, Mike, doctors, judges, Terri and God know the truth. If you want my opinion, I think fighting to get rid of abortion is more important than this whole Schiavo situation. JMO.

Lisa
 

jazz

Cathlete
Dave - well said.

I also agree with everyone that this case should have been a private matter. Terrie's parents chose to make it public. The media just rolled with it.

As far as the poster who was slamming the Conservatives, well there were many liberals too, who were on Terrie's parents side - Jessie Jackson - Nat Hentoff. (I'm not taking any political side here - I'm a registered independent)

This case just seemed to go beyond polital boundaries, although there were people who did use it to promote their particular agenda's which just sickens me.

Well, as these things go, in two weeks there will be a new media story and sadly, we will have forgotten this.
 

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