Our significant others

[cybersis]

I was looking at the pictures of Donna and then reading her comments about her wonderful husband and it made me reflect on the impact that our husbands or partners have on our fitness journey.

My first husband left me after the birth of our second child because I was "not the woman he married". I was diagnosed with thyroid after the birth of our son and gained quite a bit of weight. After I got that under control, my doctor put me on anti-depressants to help control migraines. Needless to say that even with all the exercise in the world I just could not seem to lose any weight. He found the extra weight "disgusting" and just could not see spending the rest of his life with an "overweight" wife. I was left with my two year old and my three month old baby and self esteem that was lower than a snakes belly.

All through this a co-worker who had never been anything but friendly and supportive,had watched and supported me. He always gave me encouragement and never made me feel ugly or fat. A year after my husband left this gentle man finally told me that he loved me and had done so for years. We dated for 10 years and finally two years ago we got married and I weighed 125.

I just wanted to thank him for all his love and support. I think knowing that someone loves me no matter what made all the difference for me. He is a kind and loving man who encourages both my children and myself.

Karen

 

[starbuck]

Karen

This is great there are some wonderful men out there. And it is really encouraging for someone like me still looking for Mr Wonderful (not Mr Right).

Babs

 

[kimyenchu]

What a d!ckhead your husband was (hope you don't mind me being rude about him). And you have found out for yourself that he did you a favour in the end.

I have met a few men who are not worth breathing on in my time, so I know how you felt.

'Not the woman he married' indeed. It's good riddance to bad rubbish is all I can say.

Yen

 

[getnfit@38]

Karen,

How wonderful for you to have found someone you know loves you for you. I know for me my husband's support has always been something I cherished. He never made me feel fat, when I obviously was, I mean, no getting around that fact, but he has always looked at me with "smiling" eyes that seem to say, "I love you so much!" And those eyes have had the same message since the day we met when I weighed about 250ish, up to 375lbs and back down. Of course, this is also the reason I don't club him for leaving his underwear and socks on the bathroom floor! Hey, if he can deal with 200+lbs of excess woman, I can surely deal with some dirty drawers!

But you are so right. Support means everything. And he never winces when the UPS driver rings the bell (which is so frequent I may have to give dude a Christmas gift this year!) bringing me yet another workout video, or piece of equipment. I am very fortunate, and for all of us with supportive mates, I think we need to take just a moment and tell them how wonderful we think they are.

Donna

 

[starbuck]

Actually can I tell you about my mother

We had new carpets put in the living room (which is were I work out) she told me in no uncertain terms I could not work out there anymore. So after a day discussing this with my sister and my father, we reached a comprise.

Anyway after a few weeks I got tired of the comprise. So I started working out on the step when she caught me bringing it down a few months later she laughed. She now boasts about me on the phone to her friends.

She bemoans me buying exercise vids but used her shopping money when the UPS guy came a day early with my latest Cathe tapes. She might not agree with my exercising but doesn't feel that any one should stop me least of all her.

And to add when she hurt her back a couple of years ago she would stay in the room and watch me work out to Keli comparing my form with Keli's and correcting me.

Babs

 

[daisyheather]

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us Karen. There is truly nothing like the support and love of a spouse to make you feel extraordinary. After having two children in a span of 18 months, I am about thirty pounds over what I was when I married my dh. He never makes me ugly or fat, really just the opposite. He always tells me how proud he is of my body for making two little boys and that he knows I have the perserverance to lose this weight. I do try to see things from his perspective, though. I imagine that he does find me a little more attractive when I wasn't overweight, so that is extra motivation on top of his unconditional support that helps me in this journey. Just thought I'd share too. Thanks, Heather

 

[clareMc]

Karen:

fabulous story and I'm very happy for you both.

This story made shivers go down my spine. So, there are some real nice, worthwhile people in this world and I am glad that two of them found eachother.

Be happy!

Clare

 

[AKirkland]

I'd like to brag about my hubby, too. I had the opposite problem. I became very ill about three years ago and lost 10 - 15 pounds - a big deal for someone who was already underweight. With the weight loss, I also dropped from a C cup to an A, which certainly didn't help my self-esteem, knowing my husband (like many men) thinks "bigger is better."

In addition to these outward changes, I was in a lot of pain and was pretty much confined to my bed for a month, with very little hope of recovery. Through all of this, he still loved me, still desired me. He often came home to find me curled in a ball on the bed in tears. He would lie down behind me in the "spoon" position and hold me while I cried - not knowing what else to do.

It is indeed a wonderful thing to find a man who loves you "for better or for worse."

Angela

 

[susanz]

I must concur. My hubby has put up with a lot in my quest for fitness. He supported me through 2 pregnancies and NEVER has made a comment on my weight. He built me my 10" step(with me looking over his shoulder)and bought me my first weights. He now has been waking me up before he leaves for work at 4:30( per my request!)so that I can make sure I get my workout in. Sometimes I admitt I'm not the sweetest at this hour but he just gives me a big hug and tells me "Cathe's waiting!"
He's had his little fits when he sees new videos come but this too passes. It's cheaper than going to the health club I tell him. I haven't told him I ordered the new series yet though! He's my biggest fan and has helped me become the best I can. Susan

 

[Connie1]

This whole thread has brought a tear to my eye, especially this original post. I too have a supportive husband now. He built me a beautiful weight rack and he even gives me some of his own fun cardio workouts, LOL. http://www.plaudersmilies.de/yellows/tongue.gif

 

[CarolAPC]

I have to chime in on this. Its great how supportive Donna's husband has been. Its interesting reading that so many other men are too. My husband told me for years that I should look much better than I do for all the working out I do. He'd comment that my butt still jiggles...he wouldn't touch me because he said I didn't deserve hugs, grab my sides and ask.. whats this? etc... Everyone else would tell me how great I looked and want to know what I do to stay so fit.. I wanted to please him and ignored anything anyone else said... I got depressed (clinically) and take Paxil. He wore me out. I'm taking control now and use cognitive therapy when that voice in my head recites something negative. My weight has always remained around 135 and I'm 5'8". I'm fortunate in my antidepressant didn't make me gain weight & I've never had more than 10 pounds to lose -- even after babies. I work at it because I have a sweet tooth. Regardless, I've realized that I will never be perfect enough for my hubby and I finally do not care. I only need to be happy w/ myself & he will need to address his issues if he wants to be a healthy person. He has seen that he doesn't bother me anymore and has stopped the remarks for the most part. He denies saying much of what he has said but I know what has been said & others have heard him too, when he would say: I'm joking. I'm back in school and I will continue to work on me and accept support from my friends. For everyone who has a supportive/positive husband--appreciate him & if you're like me and don't... do NOT let him tell you you're anything less than l00% and/or believe your worthless.. Its just his opinion and his way to control you.