One thing at a time.

Bobbi

Bobbi

Cathlete
I've come to the conclusion I have to decide between doing one thing well or very few badly. The problem is this:

Starting in the kichen, I'll scrub, gathering recyclables as I do. I'll decide get them out of the room and head for the garage to the bins. On the way I have to pass through the family room where I'll spy a stray recycleable. Adding it to the rest, I'll see a sticky spot on the table, put down all the recyces and head back to the kitchen to grab a clothe.

The clothes will turn out to be in the dryer so I'll end up in the laundry room and find myself engaged in laundry. Since it's next to the garage, I'll head there, knowing I had a reason for going there even if it's fled my mind; I'll stand, wracking my brain for what that was.

Knowing it will come back to me, I head back to the kitchen, stopping to throw the wash into the dryer along the way, so I can get more wash started. In the kitchen, I'll grab a pile of garbage and discover the garbage is full and needs taking out. I'll also discover, much to my chagrin the the hubs has thrown out recyclables, which I'll pluck ot of the garbage and take to the garage where it will dawn om me, I have recyces in the family room, next to the unwiped up spot. But the kitchen awaits. Looking at the sink, which is practically begging to be scoured, I realize I need to run upstaiirs for scouring powder. It's in the bathroom.

In the bathroom, I'll pick up dirty clothes to add to the never ending wash and find several more things to recycle, juggle them with the laundry I am holding I decide to go get the forgotten ones to take to the garage via the laundry room where I need to deposit the dirty clothes anyway. They are in the family room so, hi-ho, it's off there I go.

I get the recyces, eye-balling that unwiped table but head back to the garage and stop and check that dryer load on my way back to the kitchen; I find I failed to start the dryer. No biggie, laundry is eternal. The unfinished kitchen is still waiting and dinner has to be started soon or trouble's a'brewing. In the kitchen, I realize I did not get the scouring powder when I went upstairs. As I prepare to go retrieve it, the phone rings... I hear my husband pull into the garage.

The first words out of his mouth are what did you do today? :eek:




Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? - Mary Oliver
 
Or a vision! What happened to the days when at least one day per week I had a clear pic in my mind of an orderly house? The rest of the weekdays were then maintainance days until the vison overtook me again. Today, I looked at a couple of things here and grounded myself from the computer. Hit the kitchen, the floors, bathrooms and got some laundry done.

I had an Uh, duh, moment. The realization that I knew what needed doing but I lacked focus! That's tackling with a single task until it's done and ignoring the pull of the the rest, which won't go anywhere, anyway. Once done, I took a cat nap and got back to the laundry. The never ending laundry. And it was good! In Zen, the idea is doing the dishes while you're doing the dishes. I suck at Zen so I let my thoughts ramble but cleaned and now I am happy!
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? - Mary Oliver
 
Have you tried making lists of tasks and not doing the next thing on the list until the first thing is completely done? You know, just until your usual clarity of thought returns.
 
OMG, Bobbi! I am exactly that way too. That is alot of the reason why I never get anything done....I end up overwhelming myself with it all before I really do anything!!! LOL!!!


It's like I KNOW I really want to clean the bathroom this weekend but when I start cleaning the bathroom I use the sink water to also wipe the dressers in my room down. I start doing that then I notice how much cat hair is in the window ledges. Well, can't wipe the cat hair with the rag (I will contaminate it with hair) so I break out with the shop vac. Can't just shop vac the window ledges, next thing you know I am doing the baseboards. Then I head to the kitchen to put something away that was in the bedroom or vice versa and end up noticing something else in another room and next thing you know I am five rooms away from the original room, four hours have past, then I make the mistake of having lunch, and all is over. I decide to just "throw" the bathroom back together and be done with it. All in all, I end up feeling like nothing really got a good cleaning and that I didn't really accomplish much.!!! It is horrid, really!


I like the idea of a list. A priority list. A list of things that WILL get done under all cirumstances. For me, it would have to be real specific...like clean toilet, mop floor, etc, because if not, I'll end up unsrewing the light bulbs over my vanity and washing each individually with windex. Truly insane!!

No really, I know it has something to do with Time Management and organization skills. I lack in both.:)
 
I work exactly like you've described, it's scarey. My husband, however, can only do one thing at a time, drives me nuts, he gets less done than I do. If I got paid for all the steps I take...

Jeanette
 
Re you sure you haven't already started takeing thoses meds i was telling you about hon?:p just kidding!!! your post was exhausting. you need a nap!

jes:D
 
There are linear thinkers and there are open-ended thinkers. Open ended thinkers tend to work in circles so they could be called circular thinkers. I am a circular thinker.

I keep a mental list and on that list, is the intention to write things down. I am not a list maker. I keep track of my check book in the same way. :)

Periodically, I get exquisitely organized, which delights my husband. Those 24 hour periods are some of the best times we have.

My fantasy of binding and gagging the children before, during, and most importantly, after, the 24 hour period, could get me into trouble with Child Protective Services. Producing a tazer and using it everytime I say, pick up after yourselves, make yor bed, put it in the dishwaser, cannot be realized either, because of CPS.

They are good kids. I recently had a conversation with Sydney when I asked her to make the bed and she said, as soon as her show was over, and I said, do it now you'll get distracted, I'll come in to find an unmade bed and I'll be mad at you. I am not sure how important a made bed is in a room that looks as if a bomb went off. I have taught her well. Well, to be like me. :)

Best of all, my son, Sam came in begging to go to the pool and was refused because it was 68 degrees. He fell apart. I hate you he groused as he stomped upstairs. I could hear him, carrying on up there for quite some time and went up to sternly reprimand him. I ended up picking him up and plopping him into my bed and crawling in next to him to tell him he was just mad, not full of hate and he melted, said he was sorry and we had snuggle time and I left a load of landry on the loveseat, where it waited without complaining until he was in love with me again. It's folded but still on the loveseat.

I was happy to have gotten enough done today to be able to get some REAL cleaning done tomorrow. I was happier still to realize that someday I'll miss having a Lego impale my foot. Okay, that I won't miss, but it's good to know that it's normal (for me) to allow a fall into disarray and it will not always be so. Resistance is futile!

Briee, I love the idea of you as my long lost sister but I can't imagine mom and dad losing you and not moving heaven and earth to get you back!

Janice, time management and organization? What are these strange terms? I will have to look those words up.

Lunacat, are you an systematic cat? No wonder you are familiar with subterfuge and plot well enough to get that free internet access!





Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? - Mary Oliver
 
You said it all in your signature line. *Chicks rule* I call it *multi-tasking.*

There is this web site called *Fly Lady* It makes you do the little jobs we put off so much easier by dedicating 15 minutes to it. They have this section about cleaning your sink. It works I tell ya. So, your just a *fly lady* That's also why you have the highest number of posts. LOL.


~~TyTbody~~
Working towards Perpetual Motion
 
Bobbi:

I used to be like this but it was adding to my anxiety issues so I have become a "one thing at a time" person. I feel a greater sense of accomplishment that way.

My therpist tells me that in many areas of my life I need to adopt the use of blinders. "Stick the blinders on it, and carry on with what you were doing", so that I don't let new anxiety and "things to do" arrivals overwhelm me.

I hate housework and hate the constant chaos my family makes me live in. What I do to make it all more bearable is take my boom box into the area I am going to clean and listen to a book on CD or tape. I will get so engrossed by the narrative that I clean the entire are without realizing I have done it, and I am not at all tempted to step outside of my "cleaning zone" to pick up recycleables, abandoned articles of clothing, bits of food off other floors, etc. I am too focussed, thanks to my talking books.

Maybe this could work for you?

I know we are all supposed to be multi-taskers and mothers are usuallly forced to become so, but! Multi-tasking increases stress, it does not relieve it. My therapist confirms this, as do others I have talked to, and now advises all her patients to be more focussed on the one task at hand for greater peace of mind.

I watch my husband multi-task, and he never gets anything finished, and ends up in parts of the house where he does not know why he is there and he loses things constantly because he does not remember where he went and what he did there and why. I do not have these problems!

Multi-tasking spells death! Never again, not for me!!!!

Clare :7
 
Bobbi I sent you a PM
Judy
AKA "Likes2bfit"
sport-smiley-009.gif
http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung0903/sport/sport-smiley-003.gif
 
Everything at once and then the heck with it, is my philosophy!
I don't care what my childrens room looks like. They are teenagers and old enough to take care of it...two rooms I don't have to worry about!
I do all my cleaning in two days. Everything gets cleaned...the dogs, the laundry, the cars and whatever else I find. When it is all done, I say the heck with it if the leather furniture has slobber on it from the dogs, etc...I will get to it on my next cleaning time.
I didn't use to be this way and always would clean every single day, but I found that I never had time for anything.

Charlotte~~
 
Bobbi, I reread your posts. They are a work of art. You should write a book - or perhaps you already have! I love the insight into your world. You wrote it so well, especially about your son grousing - you need to write a book, or a column in a newspaper. (After all you need something more to do don't you?)

Are you also highly creative? I've often blamed my creativity for my lack of ability to cope with the mundane...and cleaning up is dreadfully mundane.

Another thought. Two friends and myself constantly laugh at each other and ourselves for the same behaviour. Strangely enough we are all from large families. I am #10 of 10 kids born in a 13 yr timespan. I've often suspected that subconsciously I'm trying to recreate the organized chaos that was my childhood. :) We occasionally will call each other just to talk so we can get through some mundane house task. We had a wonderful conversation on Sat. while we both cleaned our computer desks off! It feels so good to have it done and I could actually focus on it with the distraction of talking to her at the same time.

Trish
 
Yeah, I'm the same way. "Focus" is not in my vocabulary.

I'll bet if you take the Meyers-Briggs personality test, you'll have an INFP or ENFP personality type.
 
Bobbi,

I work full time so the only time I do house cleaning and laundry are on the weekends. I do things this way and it actually works well for me. I am not a perfectionist. Like Charlotte, once I clean it I don't worry about it until the next cycle unless, of course, we are having company.

If I understand your dilemma correctly, I don't think your problem is the way you get things done or sort of done, I think your problem is worrying about your approach. These behaviors are mutually exclusive, IMHO.

I mean, with a husband and two children, how can you ever really complete tasks?
 
I make lists. Infinitely detailed, anal-retentive, obsessive compulsive lists. And if I do something and it's not on my list, I add it and cross it off, because I'm just that insane. Everyone who knows me knows about my lists, but it helps me NOT run around in circles and I'm about the most organized person I know.

A year and a half ago, just after my dear Mom passed away, I fell into doing what you describe. But for me it was a way to avoid having an anxiety attack. Then my boyfriend would come home, find me running around doing 16 things, with garbage bags all over the house, laundry in three different places, the vacuum out, dishes in the sink and would take me gently by the arm and say "Shell, we need to go for a walk".:)

So, Miss Bobbi - wanna go for a walk with me?;)
 
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