Negative attitude/comments regarding health & fitness


Wow I think it is awesome u guys have flat bellies. What have you done to get there?
When I lost a lot of weight I was told I was to skinny and I'm obssessed with exercise this was by my sisters who had always been smller then me. Till then. I heard it so long with contempt in there voice
Finally I started trying to eat"normal " and the last 7 years I gained nearly half of it back. I can't believe I let them get to me. Totally my fault. No I'm bigger then them and they shut up now except to tell me they lost 10 pounds every once in a while and one told me this out of the blue and said "oh I lost mine eating what I want just less of it and I don't. Exercise"
She is skinny but is not toned. I'm chuncky but I am still toned. I can run 4 miles she can't walk to long. I think I'd rather stick to exercise and I will never let others dictate my weight again. I will loose it again and when I do I'm gonna keep doing me. Hmm I just pray Ivan loose it soon.


I have always been thin

There was only one time in my life, right after my separation, that a shrink had put me on Depakote, and it caused me to gain weight. When I found out about that side affect, I stopped taking it, and I lost all the weight. When I married, I think I was about 103, and, in college, I remember being 93, which was much too thin.

Having said that, I have always maintained that a person can be overweight and still be physically fit. Hope this finds all well.


I am just on some book-reading websites, because I read a great deal, and I have a few photos of myself. I have my own board on one of them, and I received a very nasty private message from somebody on the site. I think she had posted about fitness books, and I chimed in. I did not answer her private message, but I had met this woman in person at one of the book meetings, and I think she must weigh 275 pounds. I would never attack a person because of his or her overweight, but I did not go to that meeting again.

67 percent of the American population is overweight, and 33 percent is obese. I never tell my neighbor she is fat, although she is about 4'11 and close to 200 pounds. I think it is very rude to made comments like that.

It IS very rude and good for you for being the bigger person!:)

Pardon the pun!:p


mbmundt said:
I didn't have time to read all the postings but I had to join in.

I was at a store buying 35 & 40lbs dumb bells and the cashier asked if I needed help getting those out to my car. I politely said, no thanks, I can handle it.

Everyone thinks I'm insane that I get up at 3am 6 days a week to workout.

I did have some people say to me that I didn't need to work out. I told them, how do you think I got to look like this. Trust me it, it wasn't good genes. I was blessed with not the best ones.

Probably the most disappointing was when I was so thrilled that I finally got to go to one of Cathe's Road Trips (Chicago) and I was telling people that I was going away for the weekend and they were all excited for me until I told them what I was doing it. The change in the reaction was unbelieveable.

The best one is when my DH and I are shopping and there is something fairly heavy to carry, I'll always grab it first and he lets me carry it out to the car and loves the looks we get. He's like "yeh, guys look how tough my wife is." I love him to death for not being weird about it.

I'd have to say I don't have many close friends because of my love and passion for working out. I don't have a whole lot in common with most people that I know. This is why I'm thankful I'm on Cathe's forum with people that understand.


Wow I thought I was the only one who got up at that time to workout! In fact at one time I thought I was a lunatic for getting up so early but I realized for me that it was the only way to be consistent. I tried at other times through out the day when I got home from work or after the kids went to sleep but it just didn't work and I really wanted it to work. After a while it becomes a habit and now I really like it. It is the only time I feel at peace all by myself nice and quiet!


Hi everyone,

It's very comforting to hear your stories. Thank you for sharing.

What I did not include in my original post (I tried to keep it short and sweet with the ankle weight story) is that in my teens I was the "chubby kid", and constantly being reminded of that. I remember one boy saying during a phys-ed class, that I should be the goaltender for soccer because I could "fill in the net nicely". Those are the sort of comments that severely hurt impressionable young minds and stay with us long after the teen years are over. I've also seen the other side of the coin. In my 20's I changed my eating habits and became very physically fit and healthy. At 5'1, I weighed 105 lbs. I was proud of myself, since I was in a very healthy weight range for my size. People at work would question if I had an eating disorder (I DID NOT). People said I looked too frail and skinny (I DID NOT). Shorty after that, I broke my ankle and gained some weight, but I felt just fine being about 10lbs heavier. Friends/family said I had to be careful not to gain any more weight :confused:. WTH? First I was too skinny, and now I'm too fat? In a world that is obsessed with physical appearances, it's hard not to be sensitive and easily offended sometimes.

But right now I'm at my happy place, with my happy weight and I feel wonderful. I'm not perfect. I'll never look like Sophia Vergara, and I'm ok with that. The most important thing is my health and happiness and that of my loved ones. I vow to be the best role model possible to the most important thing in my life: my daughter. In the end, that's all that really matters.

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You know...all these stories of people hearing they're too thin when they're healthy and too fat if they happen to gain a few pounds - all from the depths of OTHER PEOPLE'S reminds me of my favorite movie quote of all time.

"Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here."

Wow! I will often say I try to keep my own "crazy" on the inside, and try to put kindness out into the universe.


Wow! I will often say I try to keep my own "crazy" on the inside, and try to put kindness out into the universe.

Good motto to live by! I try to do the same myself!

I have to wonder what kind of people say such demeaning, ugly things to others, especially their loved ones. Thank goodness I don't have anybody like this in my life.


On the flip side of this is someone like me....there are a few ladies at work who are obviously really fit - great arm definition, etc., and I'd love to ask them what they do - if they hit the gym or workout at home.

But....I'm on the shy side and would have no idea how to start that conversation without sounding like a weirdo.

Plus I've seen some women at the grocery store with just outrageous "guns" and I always want to say "nice work!" to them but again....fear of weirdo-ness.

Suzanne, just go for it!!!!! I am SURE that anyone would be flattered and thrilled to talk to someone else who is into fitness. Think about how insular we often feel we are, in a world where we are sometimes seen as "freaks" for our workout habits - it's great to get a comment from someone like-minded.

The best compliment I've gotten in recent memory was sitting at a bar waiting for my friends to arrive. A guy sitting a few seats down from me leaned over and said "I just have to tell you that your arms are amazing!" He then laughed and said that was likely the most odd compliment to give a woman, but I replied that maybe that was true, but it was one of the best I've ever gotten because I actually WORK for these arms! I was smiling for days and still think about it. So - go for it!!!! You'll make someone's day. :)


I agree I saw a women coming out of grocery store. OMG she looked Fab! I saw muscels In her arms like I only saw in oxygen. When I wad younger I was way up with jealousy but I'm not now I guess maturity has details in. Now I am in awh and feel she workef hard to get there. I asked her and told her she looked fabulous.
She was so nice sad she lifted weights and then walk for 30 minutes or jog for only 20 minutes! Wow thyself it? LOL then she said she eats good food. Clean God.


When I was around 20, I went to a doctor who took one look at my legs and asked what kind of sports I played. When I told him I was lifting weights (this was back in the Firm days) he told me I should stop, as it wasn't attractive. This was back when I was super shy and never spoke up for myself. The person I am today would have never let that fly. I was relieved to find out after the fact that his street nickname was Dr. (rhymes with masspole). :confused:

Everyone who knows me knows I'm obsessed with my thick calves. Most people (trainers, pt's, etc.) believe the thickness is mostly muscle (though HIIT running is definitely FINALLY slimming them down). But I whine to a lot of trainers and one night I messaged John Romaniello on Facebook. I said I know calf size/shape is usually genetic but I thought mine were also fatty and I asked what he recommended for slimming them down. He approved of what I was doing, suggested it may take me only so far if they're muscular, and then he wrote "Don't tell me... Trouble finding jeans that will stretch over your calves... Can't zip up a pair of boots?" Then he said "You know how I know? Every girlfriend I've EVER had has had big calves. Know why? Because I LOVE big calves on a woman... You're just BLESSED."

A man who doesn't find an athletic body attractive on a woman is just afraid she may be able to beat him up. And who cares what a wuss like that thinks?! LOL ;).


It's been interesting to see some people's reactions since I started working out and dropped a bit of weight. Most people, thankfully, have been very complimentary and positive. Sometimes though I'll get comments like "you're so skinny!" or "you're disappearing!". I'm like, "huh?". My BMI is 22.1 and my body fat % hovers around 25%..smack dab in the middle of the recommended ranges for a healthy person. Not too high, not too low. I'm Goldilocks for goodness sake! How is that shockingly thin to some? I think, in some places at least, there is a normalization perception of obesity occurring. When most people that surround you are perceive that as the new normal and don't think twice about those extra pounds on yourself. I see this as a very dangerous direction for society to be going in. It's difficult to change people's behaviors to more healthy ones when they don't believe there is anything wrong with them to begin with.

The other thing that has always bothered me is the pervasive belief that women shouldn't lift weights or have muscle. This is not just men. I hear and see many women who share this misguided belief. Why on earth must a woman be weak to be attractive?:mad: Luckily, my hubby has been very supportive of my weight training and loves my biceps!:D


I loved reading this thread. i have had many many many many similar expereinces, starting as a chubby child up to last week! when I was 13, my mom came up to me on the beach and told me to cut back on carbs because my thighs were getting too big. she is now overweight and so weak she can't walk up the hill to her house.:( I am the fittest person in my family (although far from perfect), I am the only person who consistently exercises and eats well, my family constantly grills me about it and judges, even though they admit "well...whatever you are doing is working....just don't agree".
I just want everyone to be fit and healthy!
I am at peace with myself and my family issues ( a major success at only 31! if I do say so myself:D) but I do hope they can become healthier, since it isn't just about weight.
I am so determined to just be normal about weight and health for my two girls!


I think Colleen is on to something when she says that a lot of this is caused by the normalization of being overweight. As a black woman, I can say it is very common and accepted to be overweight in the black community. There is an appreciation of "thick" women that does not seem to be the same in all communities. However, it is also widely reported that black people have higher rates of diabetes, heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, and the higher mortality rate that comes with those problems.

So, as a fit black woman, I think it is even stranger to folks to see me looking a little leaner. However, who wants to die from or suffer from those maladies if you don't have to? Even in my own family, where we all know better (my parents are very healthy and my mom used to own a health food store in the 70s!), my sisters are both overweight. They are 8 and 10 years younger than me, so it makes me sad to see them taking such poor care of themselves when they are so young, but I was much heavier when I was their age too. I am hoping that I can set an example for them to show that you don't have to be out of shape and choose to be. I know they see my behavior as a model. I'm just hoping it inspires them to make better choices for themselves. They frequently comment on how much muscle I have, and I always tell them they could have some muscles as well! It just takes some effort.


After all of the talk about the negative attitude towards fitness and the snarky comments we all get, I had to come back and tell you all what happened to me on Friday night! I'm still on cloud 9 over it! :D

My DH and I attended a wedding and early in the night I went to use the ladies room at the reception. I was washing my hands and a woman looked across the bathroom at me and said "Are you a tri-athlete?". Ofcourse, I did the classic look around to see who she was talking to so she says "You. Yes, I'm talking to you." I was taken a-back to say the least. I explained to her that I am not a tri-athlete. I don't consider myself an athlete of any sort. Just someone to eats right and exercises. She went on to say how awesome I look, how I'm in great shape, I'm solid muscle, etc. She said saw me as soon as we walked in and she pointed me out to her husband and said she was going to find out what I did to look that way. We got to talking and I explained to her how she made my day b/c I get a lot of negative comments made and used the "you are too skinny" and "you need to eat a cheeseburger" comments as examples. She laughed and said not to listen to those "jealous b*tches" b/c I look great. :D Definitely not too skinny but slender with lots of muscle and that I should NOT eat that cheeseburger and keep doing what I am doing and how I will live a long life b/c of it...She went on to tell me how she used to be in great shape (she was a swimmer and a runner) but she "fell off the wagon" and is having a really tough time getting back on but I've inspired her to try again...:)

Ok that's all. Just had to share!:)


aw, that is such an awesome story! good for you, and good for the lady who spoke up - glad you could inspire her!
We should all complement the fit women we see:)


I loved reading this thread! I’ve enjoyed a range of ridiculous comments from "dang girl you need a cheeseburger" (at 5’5” 120lbs) to the mean girls: "we don’t like dumbbells! we like to eat, skinny b**ch!" … true statement!...seriously…and no, I did not provoke it, unless being physically present qualifies!

I had a friend try to make me feel bad about wearing a bikini one time (in a perfectly appropriate setting! :D )- she ultimately admitted it was because she felt self-conscious and out of shape next to me…

Then there are the "better be careful how you eat, it'll catch up with you some day" (after a 1/2 marathon no less)…. And “why would you want to lift such heavy weights?” or (from unfit men, this is an especially fun one!) “you’ve got bigger biceps than I do!”

I'm all about self-awareness, (imperfectly no doubt!) but I am learning NOT to take on other's insecurities…

I’ve looked back and realized there were periods when I dialed my fitness down a few notches simply to be more accepted (aka non-threatening to my less fit/heavier friends). I finally figured out, to be true to me, I have to take care of myself in the ways that make me feel best… I can’t worry about whether my “physique” might trigger someone else’s body image/lifestyle issues. I’m not judging them and I don’t need to internalize their judgment/insecurity either. ;)

As for chivalry, I completely agree! I enjoy accepting a kind gesture, when so inclined, and, offering one as well! I also enjoy being strong and capable enough to carry my own cat litter and dog food :p:D

Thanks for the entertaining shares :p


It has been so refreshing to read this thread! I have been struggling with these things as well. Even my husband has told me to back off because he thinks I'm getting too muscular and it made me so sad because I have worked so hard to get to where I am now and I had been proud of my muscles until he said that. I love working out and don't want to give it up because some people don't think it's attractive for females to have some muscle. I grew up with an active family and was always encouraged to exercise and play sports, whereas my husband wasn't, and is overweight, I worry a lot about our differences when it comes to fitness :(


Hi REMeeks,

When I read your post I feel compelled to reply. I'm sorry your hubby isn't seeing it the same way you do. Keep your chin up. Please don't feel sad about your accomplishments. I've been told this and I have learned this from experience; that you can't change someone else, you can only change yourself or your reaction to something. You are in a community of women here who are fans of Cathe's workouts. We LIKE muscles. :D You have support here. Please don't give it up. To do that for someone else is a diservice to you.

Being overweight can cause many health problems. What you're doing is great. You are on your way to a healthy and fit life. :)

I know this is unrelated to fitness but I'm going to share anyway. I cut my hair off few months ago from down to my back to a pixie. My husband doesn't like it and he tells me so. I'm okay with him not liking it because I do! I think I look fabulous. I get many compliments. He has to deal with it because I will continue to keep it short. I also make him take me to get it done. :D Just a side note, we've been married for 14 years. It's not until the past few years that I started just doing what's best for me.

So cheers to that rockin' body. Keep up the good work. Hope you're enjoying Cathe's DVDs. She's definitely top-notch.


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