Invisible 50s

[JeanneMarie]

That is GREAT! There is a consignment shop in my neighborhood, but they are sooooo picky about what they will accept, so I just give away the clothing I no longer wear. It is very much appreciated by those who are receiving the items.

This is what I've always done... donate it to some place like Goodwill or The Salvation Army. I am going to try to be a bit more frugal though, and thought maybe I could get some $$ back before I spend more!

 

[BAM]

I understand what you're saying. I used to get a lot of looks. It has changed now. I'd be out with my 20 something year old nieces and looks would come our way and I just believed everyone was looking at me because that's just what I decided to believe!

I was at a party at a bowling alley. The bathroom was at the opposite end of where we were. I fixed myself up and made the trek back to the group. I felt great, looked pretty good (if I do say so myself ), was displaying some nice confidence and energy and.......nothin'. I have to say that my balloon started to burst a little but I decided that it doesn't matter. All that truly matters is how I feel about myself so I say pishawwwwww to everyone else!

Actually I think I know why this is happening. Years ago, people's eyes were more into their surroundings. Now, those eyes are replaced with iphones and ipads. Ah, to think that there are less opportunities to be "discovered", lol.

Bam

 

[NY25]

I agree but I wouldn't call it invisible. I'm 46, single with no kids and I generally tend to feel "out of place." Most friends my age are married and/or divorced and have kids. I'm too old for going out to bars but don't feel my age. Same with fashion - where do you fit? I'm too fat to wear the young stuff and not really that fat, so not interested in dowdy stuff. Guys (esp here in NY) want the skinny young things. I could go on but you get the picture. I just don't feel I fit in anywhere.

 

[nancy324]

Interesting thread. I am 56 and think there are pros and cons to any age. I agree with Jeanne Marie regarding being able to afford things now. Twenty years ago I was living hand to mouth and felt I couldn't be myself at work because I could not afford to lose my job. I just had to be whatever the boss wanted me to be. Also, my entire paycheck went to rent and food so I couldn't do anything. Somewhere in my early 40s I started coming into my own, as they say, and I wouldn't go back for anything. Sure, I was more likely to turn a head back in my 20s or 30s, but the truth is I didn't even have the confidence in myself to know it! I do wish I had enjoyed it more while I had it. But I'm lucky enough to be happily married to a guy who still sees me as beautiful. The downside to this age is that it can be much more difficult to find a job, and if you're divorced or widowed, I'm guessing it isn't easy to be dating. But, if you think about it, even if you are invisible to most people (I do identify with that), you only really need to be "seen" by a few of the right people to have a happy life.

 

[maddiesmum]

I gave up trying to share a closet with DH (he loves shoes too).
This is what I want to turn my son's old bedroom into...

I want this room, all to myself!!!!!

Clare

 

[lizh]

Hey everyone!
Interesting thread! Thanks for telling me about White House | Black Market. I had never heard of that store before and just signed up for their newsletter.

I'm 53 and I want to stay looking great. Do you have any other stores like WHBM that have current styles for us 50-ers?

thanks!
Liz

 

[nancy324]

Hey everyone!
Interesting thread! Thanks for telling me about White House | Black Market. I had never heard of that store before and just signed up for their newsletter.

I'm 53 and I want to stay looking great. Do you have any other stores like WHBM that have current styles for us 50-ers?

thanks!
Liz

Elie Tahari | Sale - Women's | All Women's Designer Clothing

 

[Stebby]

I love being in my 50s. I don't feel invisible and I don't feel that my female friends and peers in their 50s are invisible either. I am proud of all of them - they are courageous, beautiful, patient, stylish and confident. If you don't want to be invisible, you have to decide to be visible! Show up and take an interest in the world around you.

I am a late bloomer - I would say I was actually invisible in my 20s (people never seemed to remember meeting me, and they didn't know my name) ... I realized much later that this was the result of choices on my part.

Stebby

 

[garance]

Interesting thread. Doris Lessing's The Summer Before the Dark has a middle-aged female protagonist who goes through this crisis of "invisibility" after recovering from illness. It's a very good novel, and when I taught it in Women's Studies courses, we also talked about the "male gaze" as somehow figuring in women's sense of visibility. An internalized "male gaze" that affected self-perception. Of course, I also think women dress for other women, and sometimes this is competitive in terms of attention-getting. Recently Katie Couric had a guest who talked about makeup, and how giving it up altered her sense of identity. She also covered up or removed several mirrors in her home to overcome her dependence on appearance.

 

[sohfia lee]

Elie Tahari | Sale - Women's | All Women's Designer Clothing

Tahari has beautiful clothes, but to buy them at a discount? EVEN BETTER!! They have EXCELLENT customer service and Elie Tahari Coupons Codes in the booklet from guest relations. These ladies hooked my mom up with a BEAUTIFUL shift dress and it was $150!! AMAZING!! Def will be swinging in here time and time whenever my wardrobe needs an update!

 

[NancyPaul85]

Interesting topic and thread. I can truly relate!

 

[snowlover]

I never saw this thread before but have plenty of thoughts. I have felt pretty invisible my whole life to everyone, although I don't hide. And I'm very much ignored by men. Now that I am 51 I realize I wish I could've told my young self never even try to look attractive because no one will ever even consider me as such. Just a few weeks ago I had a man at work say to my face that I am funny looking. I am very much seen as worthless because I don't have a husband and/or kids. It is like a single woman my age doesn't amount to anything. I feel it from people at work and from my family. You know the song that says you're nobody until somebody loves you? Apparently in my case that is true.
One way I am not invisible is that I shave my head and it attracts a lot of nasty comments. As if a no woman in her right mind would ever shave her head because her hair is what makes her beautiful and a woman has to be perceived as beautiful. I literally have been told, to my face, that I am ugly. Even stranger is that people feel comfortable telling me what is wrong with me, like they are somehow perfect. But I also get a jealous vibe from women because I'm taller, fitter, and thinner than they are and somehow I have it made?! I find it very difficult to hear women constantly complain about whatever body image hang up they have but they've had significant others in their lives and I've never been on a date!
Well, there is a dose of honesty if anyone is interested. Definitely a different perspective at least . . .