exercise evangelism

A

AKirkland

Cathlete
Thought I would throw out a dilemma for you guys. Someone very close to me that I care deeply about desperately needs to start exercising regularly for weight control and health reasons.

I discovered recently that she'd ordered some Firm tapes, so I quickly encouraged her, loaned her some of my old Firms and even was able to provide her with a step I don't use any more.

Unfortunately, this is about as far as she's gotten. When I asked her how she liked the workouts I loaned her (gentle nudge), she said she hadn't had time to work out. A week later, I got the same answer.

Has anyone got any ideas how to encourage or inspire a complete newbie to get on the exercise bandwagon?

Angela
 
First, understand that doing anything at all could end the relationship. You probably already realize that, but considering what I'm about to say thought I would get it out there. :)

I think a lot of times the only thing you can do that will work (not that it will always work) is do something to shock the person out of their complacency. For me it was my husband asking me if I should consider bariatric surgery. I remember for Donna, it was her doc telling her she might not live to see her daughter get married (hope I have the facts straight there).

I know for me, little nudges sure didn't do it. It took someone being completely honest with me. If this person really is in danger because of her lifestyle, maybe it's worth sacrificing the relationship if there's a chance it will help her.

Just my controversial opinion! Awaiting others ...
 
Why not start her out easy by suggesting that you take walks together a few times a week? Though it may not be the type of exercise you're used to, it probably will be a good challenge for her. Just don't overdo it. Work her into it gradually.

It's tough trying to encourage someone else to do something they really don't want to do. And a lot of people don't want to exercise or eat healthfully.
 
Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can say or do. I think with losing weight and/or beginning an exercise program, it's no different than smoking, alcoholism or drugs. The person themselves has to be ready to make the change.
For years, my father said some of the cruelest things to me about my weight in an attempt to get me losing, my last nickname was "butterball." Imagine having your father introduce you to people as "my overweight daughter butterball." But all it did was alienate me from him.
I've tried "subtle" hints with family/friends but each time it backfired. Heck, one person actually moved away from here and took the 3 videos I loaned her to get started with, and she never got started!
You can try just plain honest from the heart talk, but don't be surprised if it doesn't work. Sorry I sound so negative, but it's just been my experience repeatedly. But if it's a close enough friend, maybe she'll really hear you and know you wouldn't say anything to her unless you were really worried about her well being.
Good luck,

Donna
 
[font size="1" color="#FF0000"]LAST EDITED ON Nov-05-02 AT 09:32AM (Est)[/font][p]I thought I posted a response to this, but I don't see it anywhere. So if it's a double post then Oooooooooooopppppps.

I think you should ask HER how she feels about her weight and health. Is she unhappy enough that she does want to make the changes, but don't know where to begin? Or she might one of those who is thinking about it, but is still finding excuses to avoid it. Sometimes with some people you can talk till you are blue in the face, but you just end up sounding like a broken record - you risk being labeled an exercise bore.

To be honest, her health is not your responsibility. You showed that you care by trying to get her to do something and, imho, that is as much as you can do. From here on in, she has to do it for herself.

BTW. Insulting your friend is not a good idea. I know there is this 'You have to cruel to be kind', but leave the unkind words to strangers who don't know your friend and who don't care.
Yen
 
Thanks, guys. Seems like the general opinion is she's got to do this on her own - which I pretty much knew. You just feel so helpless standing by, watching someone destroy their health.

Thyroid problems run in her family, and she's really struggled with this. This has contributed to her health and weight problems, but she also uses it as an excuse. The last time we were all out to dinner at Cracker Barrel, my husband and I watch in dismay as she ate (for supper!) a stack of pancakes with butter and syrup, washed down with a coke.

She's had some pretty serious scares with her health - a suspected liver tumor at one point - and that hasn't gotten her moving, so maybe nothing will.
 
Well, there you have your answer.

I know people who tells me they don't like being fat, so I start going on and on and on about Cathe and weight lifting and dieting, but then I don't hear from them again.

Yen
 
LOL, Yen!! I am the SAME way!! Fun to have people just like you here, if not in real life!!

Janice
 
We fitbunnies are often placed in an impossible position among the deconditioned crowd: we're plagued with questions about how we do it and how can THEY do it . . . and then our solid, no-nonsense but encouraging answers are rejected, sometimes quietly, sometimes with hostility.

I do agree, Angela, that your friend needs to come to her own truth about it, and the sad fact is she may NEVER come to it. But, you can always be available if she asks the question again. She may ask the same question over and over and over again expecting a different answer each time, but at least you can give her good info.

I've tried the exercise evangelism route within my family, office and aqua classes; it never works and it drives you nuts.

BTW, Honeybunch, I love your saying: "When the student is ready, the teacher appears."!

Annette Q. Aquajock
 
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