Aquajock
Cathlete
I read an online article just now about the fact that there has been a steep uptick in the number of middle-aged adult children supporting one or both parents who are broke or close to it. This article very much hit home for me, as my own mother has been financially irresponsible all her life (sorry - I know that makes me sound like a puppy-kicker but it's true), as well as very indifferent to building a solid work history since our parents' divorce back in 1976. (Yes, 1976.)
My older sister, who has always kind of been the Martha for my mother's life, has born the brunt of this problem, and it's a problem that does nothing but grow. In addition to being absolutely broke save her Social Security monthly payments, my mother is also morbidly obese due to her love of food and loathing of exercise. It's getting to the point where she has made herself a recluse in her tiny little efficiency apartment because of a combination of embarrassment about her appearance and the difficulties in simply standing up and walking.
Sometimes, one's parents (one or both) are truly socked with a calamitous event that renders them destitute despite careful earning and savings habits. But increasingly in these post-modern times, I believe we are going to see a tsunami of aging spendsters who have never saved for a rainy day, who have leveraged themselves to the hilt, and their adult children are going to be expected to take care of things in addition to raising their own families and managing their own lives.
What are the moral obligations here? I confess, I go around and around about it. On the one hand, I deeply resent the possibility that the hat will be passed to yours truly for the sole reason that I have scrimped and saved and gone to the effort of maintaining a stable worklife and lived underneath (well underneath) my means and now with DH have something to show for it. On the other hand . . . this is a parent we're talking about here. It's never easy and it's never clear.
Is anyone else here facing this dilemma, or anticipating it? I would welcome everyone's comments and insights.
TIA -
A-Jock
My older sister, who has always kind of been the Martha for my mother's life, has born the brunt of this problem, and it's a problem that does nothing but grow. In addition to being absolutely broke save her Social Security monthly payments, my mother is also morbidly obese due to her love of food and loathing of exercise. It's getting to the point where she has made herself a recluse in her tiny little efficiency apartment because of a combination of embarrassment about her appearance and the difficulties in simply standing up and walking.
Sometimes, one's parents (one or both) are truly socked with a calamitous event that renders them destitute despite careful earning and savings habits. But increasingly in these post-modern times, I believe we are going to see a tsunami of aging spendsters who have never saved for a rainy day, who have leveraged themselves to the hilt, and their adult children are going to be expected to take care of things in addition to raising their own families and managing their own lives.
What are the moral obligations here? I confess, I go around and around about it. On the one hand, I deeply resent the possibility that the hat will be passed to yours truly for the sole reason that I have scrimped and saved and gone to the effort of maintaining a stable worklife and lived underneath (well underneath) my means and now with DH have something to show for it. On the other hand . . . this is a parent we're talking about here. It's never easy and it's never clear.
Is anyone else here facing this dilemma, or anticipating it? I would welcome everyone's comments and insights.
TIA -
A-Jock