What went wrong?????????

[luprisi]

I am 34 y/o with no kids. I have never used the pill or any other birth control other than condoms. This month and for the first time, we decided to have unprotected sex to have a baby. My last period was Dec 27th, 2008 and we started having sex from Jan5th to the 15th every day. I was so sure I was pregnant. I just got my period today. I don't understand. Any suggestions? Do I have a problem? I am very regular and my cycles are 30-32 days on average

[intensityjunkie]

hmmm. well don't be discouraged. It took us like 6 months to get pregnant with my second. and I was only 23. This one we weren't really trying but it happened and I'm 29. For one you may want to do those methods where you find out when you ovulate to pin point the window time period better. like fertility sticks etc. sure others will chime in with better info.

[chefkate]

it can take up to a year for a healthy couple to get pregnant.
please dont get discouraged!
it took 8 months w/ my 1st.

a very good read is "taking charge of your fertlity"by toni weschler. i highly recommend it.

and man, o man!!! youve been using condoms all this time?! bet you were both glad to ditch those rotten things!
happy trying!

[Peaceful Rainbow]

Originally Posted by chefkate

a very good read is "taking charge of your fertlity"by toni weschler. i highly recommend it.

I very much second this. Excellent book and one that every teenage girl should get. We'd been trying for about 4 cycles to get pregnant the first time and once I got this book I got pregnant the next cycle. Only took me a couple cycles with number two. It really helps you figure out when to try. Good luck!

[melanalyus]

Who gets pg the first time they try?!?! I don't think I know of anyone....that only happens with oopsies!!!

There are so many factors that determine if/when the egg/sperm unite. You can have sex everyday for months & not get pg----or you could have sex once during ovulation & bam!!! Or you could have sex during ovulation & not conceive.

It's way too soon to be concerned, my friend. We'd love to see you on TTC Check In (trying to conceive).

Good luck & have fun.

[melimcn]

I have to echo the others. The book is a fantastic resource, even if you never read it cover to cover (I never did).
You may not be ovulating when you think you are, or you may not be ovulating at all. And there is such a thing as tapping our your SO's resouces, if you know what I mean. If you do it too often, you can dry him up, basically!

It's funny, we spend so many years trying NOT to get pregnant and stressing about it, then when we actually WANT to, it's much harder than we think.

Give yourself some time to learn what's happening with your body. And if you prefer not to use FAM (like the book) for tracking ovulation, you can always get ovulation predictor kits. That's what we used when we were trying, and I got pregnant the first month that I used one.

Keep us posted!

[ReenaPP]

DH and I have just started to try seriously in the last 2 months or so.
We were originally were shooting for July timeframe and I was using the OV watch, but I guess I have no luck because I got my period the day the stupid thing said I was ovulating....Of course all of my girlfriends who used it got preggers 1st try with it...but not me!
then we just sort of did whatever during the fall timeframe with no success, so last month, I took out last year's calendar and evaluated my cycle length for the full year and took an average. Now I narrowed down my window of possible days and am hoping to hit it this month.....seems like so much work lol, but when I complain to my girlfriends who already have kids, they tell me it is quite normal.
Makes you wonder though when folks say they are unexpectedly pregnant - they really beat significant odds when you think about it....

One thing though, I have heard every day "sexy time" for baby (as we have come to call it as a joke via Borat lol) depletes sperm count too much and you may not get the best of the bunch, so to speak, which could decrease chance of conception....If you are not trying to conceive, "sexy time" as much as you want works well! ;-)

Good Luck to you!

[luprisi]

Thanks you all for for responses. It's funny how I been avoiding it all this years for many reason (mainly college) and now that we finally decided to try, it seems that it's more complicated than that. I have been thinking so many things lately. Even though we had sex from day 10-19 of my cycle I think maybe my lutheal phase is shorter than what I though and I actually ovulate later on my cycle. I'll try the book and the ovulation kit as well. At my age I want to try it all (belt with suspenders LOL)

[pippa]

Here are a couple of things to keep in mind:


1. In any given month a healthy couple only has a 26-28% chance of getting pregnant. And that's with everything working properly and everyone doing everything they should. If you have sex they day before you ovulate you have a 26% chance of pregnancy and the day of ovulation is only a 28% chance.

I hope those numbers don't sound depressing but the fact is that you shouldn't feel like anything *went wrong.* At the end of the day other than timing sex appropriately it really is out of your hands. I agree with everyone else that the best thing to do at this point is to be as educated about your cycle as possible. Know when you ovulate, know how long your luteal phase is and have sex at least every other day around the time of ovulation.

2.As far as not doing it every day, you certainly don't need to but if your partner is healthy(as in, he has a healthy sperm count with good motility) there isn't any reason NOT to do it both the day before and the day of ovulation.

HTH!

[Road2ANewMe]

Originally Posted by melanalyus

Who gets pg the first time they try?!?! I don't think I know of anyone....that only happens with oopsies!!!

There are so many factors that determine if/when the egg/sperm unite. You can have sex everyday for months & not get pg----or you could have sex once during ovulation & bam!!! Or you could have sex during ovulation & not conceive.

It's way too soon to be concerned, my friend. We'd love to see you on TTC Check In (trying to conceive).

Good luck & have fun.

HA!!! I have 3, and all of them were conceived the first time without protection! HA HA HA!

To the OP, i'm extra fertile apparently, but it is normal for it to take a year for a healthy couple! Please don't be discouraged.

Jessica