My Dr. Appointment

K

kristi

Cathlete
Yesterday I had my doctor's appointment and an ultrasound. The baby is finally in the head down position. She is measuring 6 lbs 5 ozs, which is not always accurate. My doctor has decided to induce me on 9/9, unless DD decides to come sooner. I'm so excited. In 3 weeks DD will finally be here. I hope these weeks fly by.

I have a question. Please tell me how you would feel in this situation. My MIL since the beginning of this pregnancy has planned to be in the delivery room with DH and I when this baby is born and has made it public knowledge. My due date is 9/17. I found out last night that my SIL informed my MIL a week ago that she has decided to go to Florida to visit a friend of hers and needs her to watch her 2 kids from 9/15 - 9/18 because her DH does not want to take off of work to watch his kids. Now her friend is not ill, so why would she schedule this impromptu trip when she knows that my MIL wants to be there for my baby's birth? This is not the first time my SIL has tried to make my MIL decide between us, when there is no need for her to be acting this way. She takes advantage of my MIL all the time telling my MIL when she needs to take leave from work to watch her kids. I guess this was the last straw. DH is ready to send my SIL a nasty email telling her to stop being so selfish. I guess we have the last laugh since the doctor has decided to induce on 9/9. Please let me know you thoughts.
 
I am so sorry for your having to deal with such things, Kristi! I do not really have any ideas for you because I kind of have opposite things. It does seem to me that she is jealous or just likes manipulating your MIL but I surely do not know for sure. But you did ask how I would feel so I will tell you that I would feel exactly as you do, that she is purposefully being selfish.

I am due Nov. 4th and my parents booked a cruise from Oct. 28th to Nov. 7th. First cruise they have ever gone on in their life and they booked after they found out about the baby. My sister is also mad at me because DH and I want to bring the baby home alone so anyone that comes to the hospital has to go back home before we go home (we are 1 1/2 to 3 hours from everyone). I just decided that there is no way I can control everyone else, all I can do is what DH and I want so if people do not like our ideas, screw 'em!

Sorry for my long story, I just wanted you to know we all have wacky families:)
 
Thanks I do feel better!

I'm sure this is intentional on my SIL's part. Here is a little background on why I think this is the case. In February of this year my SIL decided she wanted to try to get pregnant with hopes of having a girl, so she went through the invitro process. Unfortunately the embryo died after she was pregnant 6 weeks. I've been trying to be sympathetic and understanding of her feelings ever since. It has meant that I could not express my own joy over my pregnancy, which is with a girl. In the meantime my SIL has been overcompensating for not being able to get pregnant again by buying a new car, spending $2000 on a miniature terrier, etc. All in all, she has never even been happy for me and tries to avoid family get togethers at all costs, but acts fine when I am speaking with her on the phone. As far as the manipulation of my MIL, this has been going on for years, but never as blatantly intentional until now. I'm hoping over time my SIL will realize this is not a competition between us and never has been. My MIL doesn't need to choose between us, she can spend time with us both. What can I say, my SIL & I are both really close to my MIL because our mothers are not good ones. I know that sounds bad, but it is unfortunately true.

Sorry to hear that your parents won't be there for your baby's birth. I was the same way about wanting to be home alone when I had DS. With the exception of my MIL being at the house when I got home from the hospital, we were completely alone even though everyone wanted to drive a couple hours and stay days with us. It is a lot of work when others come to visit, even though they mean well. You will already be tired from giving birth and you probably won't get a chance to sleep very well while in the hospital. Good for you on sticking to yours & DH's decision.
 
Kristi,

sorry to hear about your SIL, it definitely sounds as though she is trying to take advantage of your MIL. is this her mother? can't her mother tell her no, that she already has planned to be there for the delivery of her grandchild. in addition if i were you, i would not hold back any joy when it comes to expressing happiness over my child. i know things can get ugly sometimes even between siblings. i just had a testy situation come about with my own sister. she is sensitve when it comes to her children (as all mother's are) however she got mad at me because our mother had already agreed to watch ds while me and dh went to a breastfeeding seminar, however at the last moment my sister couldn't make it to her son's football practice and wanted my mother to go instead (which she did not want to do), so because i couldn't change my plans and had scheduled this with my mother way in advance my sister got angry saying noone cares about the well being of her child, WTH??? i believe she also has some unresolved feelings within herself that she sometimes feels there is a competition between our children.
I think your mil needs to speak to your sil and let her know how important this is to her and she is not willing to change her plans because your sil chooses to go on vacation.
 
Unfortunately my MIL would rather just go with the flow and try to accomodate everyone than to ruffle my SIL's feathers. However, my DH has told her that she needs to stick up for herself and voice what she wants to do or he will do it for her and not be so nice about it. What can I say DH does not mince words! All in all, we are just tired of my MIL being taken advantage of and she lets them, but I guess that is more her business than ours.

SunnyD - In case I can't get online this weekend, Good Luck Monday! I'll be thinking about you and Jaden.
 
My 5th son's birthday is 9/9! A good date. I'll be thinking of you on his birthday.

Hoo boy do I hate family politics. I hope your mother in law can be there, since you want her to and I'd let your DH handle it as much as possible. I can sympathize, my husband's sister is always nasty to me, because she is a very unhappy woman due to the choices she has made in her life. I vent to my husband occasionally (he does stand up to her when necessary), but mostly I just try to let her comments roll off, keeping in mind how miserable she is--but I've got a quick temper and it takes some self-control not to be nasty back}(

Hope it all works out
Maggie
 
Kristi that is so exciting! Sounds like your girl is at a good poundage. I think the little ones gain .5 a lb each week in the last trimester - so she should be right on track in 3 weeks! No good advice about your MIL and SIL but I hope things settle down - family strief is so aggrevating, and you DON"T need that now of all times. Hope these weeks go by very very quickly!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top