What does success feel like?

[beehappy]

I have been trying to figure out what success feels like.

When I was younger I thought I would be in a different place in my life by now. I thought my husband and I would travel more, have enough money to help other people. I thought I would know how to manage my time by now.

So my question is: Does anyone else feel this way? What are some coping strategies you have found to help you be the best person you can be despite life's curve balls?

 

[CeciFifi]

Hi Bee Happy,

As lame as this might sound.... My coping strategy at such times is to be thankful. When I am feeling a bit down, upset or disappointed by some of life's curve balls, I force myself to sit for a few minutes in silence and be grateful. It doesn't always come naturally for me. I make myself do it and it works like a charm. I always feel more positive about things afterwards. With this exercise, I quietly list off all that is going well in my life and hold each thing I am grateful for - for 5-20 seconds (this way you turn a thought into a positive experience). It helps me to focus more on the multitude of things that I have, that I am etc... instead of all that I am not and don't have (which is a wayyyyyyyy bigger list!)

At the top of my list - always - is that I am thankful for being alive. I am 46 years old and not everyone makes it to this age. I move onto being thankful for my two healthy and happy children, a great husband, my supportive friends and family, that I have a job, a home etc...

In your post it sounds like you want to travel more with your husband, have more money to help others as well as figure out how to manage your time better. How lucky you are to still have time to figure these things out and bring them into your life. It's clear to me you know what you want. Maybe you and your DH can sit together and put together a plan to make some of these things happen.

I hope I am not sounding too preachy. That is my coping strategy and I have to use it.... well - most days .

 

[atompki1]

I am striving to learn to be content with where my life is at at this present point in time. No it may not be perfect and I might want to do things differently moving forward, but being able to be content with where I am is essential to peace of mind. Is my marriage perfect, nope but it is MINE and my husband and I work together to move forward and make it better and enjoy what we do have. Are my kids perfect, nope but we continue to work together and enjoy each other to make things better that need to improve. Can I do all them pushups that Cathe can do , nope but I sure can do some of them and if I keep working on it maybe I'll get there!!

I find that I really have to learn how to be still in life sometimes and not always want to be or do someplace different than where I am now. For me it all starts with just allowing myself to stand still sometimes. Never been my strong point

In terms of achieving things that I want to achieve, I'm pretty good at that part. I'm good at planning and I see things long term. But I find that I drive myself crazy with my planning at times...double sided sword!!

 

[ReneePruitt]

I agree with the above post.
I have lots of curve balls but they are right on. I too have to sit and realize everything i do have. I wake up everyday and i thank God he has alowed me to wake up. I finaly stopped trying to be everything and do everything when my mom got sick and past away. I remember her saying small things during that time that i played back in my head after it was over... And it made me realize i dont have to be super everything. Little stuff like she knew i was in school, work full time, miltary,plus a mom and take care of her, and b a wife... I was trying to prove to myself i can do it all, wanted my family to be inspired.. But mom asked me one day in my bussel " renee why cant you relax some and enjoy who u r, will u ever stop and slow down?" Another time cleaning she asked me to sit with her and just be... I dk how to explain it but that goes on iny mimd at times.. I tjink wow i wanted her to be proud of all i could do And be but she would have been proud and loved me noatter what. My kids and hubby too.
So i have really taken that and tried to learn from it. I still live in a modular home its not a brick home like i wanted but itsy home. Its better then when i was 18 with my baby i was homeless, all i wanted was a cave at that time. I would walk and see lights in windows and tjink how lucky they were to have a roof over tjer head.. And Hod why cant i. Well i do now .. I have a job.. Two boys, aa husband ..not alot of friends but i have some one day. I guess im learning to go with the flow. I dont have to have tje best of the world. But my life is the best life for me, it suits me. Yes i still feel like u do sometimes but, thats what the getting in a quit place does it helps put it all in a big picture. I also try to remember my purpose on the earth. My life i wnt to reflect love and care to people and family. I dont have momey to help people but sometimes ill see an older lady at a restraunt and ill pay forr her lunch before she even knows who i slip put. That makes me feel god. I will help elderly in there vehicle tjose smal tjings allow me to help some. I have kids i cant help money wise, but i do what,i can. I hope that helps some, i hope u can come to a place you are content with life the way it is. Of course we can improve our life but only way i know to do that is for me to get better everyday physicaly and mentaly and spiritualy. That way the way i react to my friends and family can mean alot of drama pr calm... The way we behave is all we can control and a positive attitude is contagious. Let us know if these ings helped.