janiejoey
Cathlete
Hi all,
Today was Joe's (my husband) court date. The court lifted the "no contact" order. Since this was an abuse case, he can't come home until all the weapons (guns) are out of the house and no longer under his control. His son will be coming to collect them in a day or two. The court asked me if there was any statement that I would like the court to consider in making their sentencing decision. I made up a couple of paragraphs and read this to the court:
"It will do no good to sentence Joseph to jail. We as married partners need to work through these circumstances. I'm requesting that Joseph attend an alcoholic program and an anger management program. For myself, a program that can guide me through this trauma.
In our sixteen years of marriage he never physically abused me. I'm asking to allow him to come home so we can learn from the appropriate programs and heal together. Since I wasn't able to contact him or anyone surrounding him, I don't know how he feels about coming back home. I do know that whatever he decides to do concerning him and myself, I will respect that decision.
I believe our love for one another would warrant him to choose to come home and put this experience behind us so we can move on with our lives."
You know, he told the court that he believes that he is not an alcoholic and that if and when we drinks it will be sociable. He is giving me the key to give him permission to drink.
That really made me cringe. He is taking the responsibility off his shoulders and giving it up to me and therefore making me out to be the bad guy.
We still aren't able to sit down and talk yet. But I have to tell you, that there is a list of non-negotiable, negotiable and also a list of the things that will make me happy. On the non-negotiable list is that he goes into an alcoholic and anger management program. If there is any drinking at all for the rest of his life, me present or not, I will leave immediately and will never ever return to his life. I know it might sound horrid, but for my safety it truly has to be that way. Joe gave me no alternative.
There's a lot of fines that happened today. We won't be able to go for our Fall trip this year because of him. Also it is a learning process in progress. There will be more things that I will add or delete from my list for a long time to come.
I'm now going to go to a group gathering on Tuesdays for information about my trauma and on Thursdays meeting for other people like myself who have gone through what I have endured. Each meeting will take 6 weeks to complete. I'm putting in place a plan of escape for if and when I need it. So now for healing and learning.
Thanks for your ears, everyone, I truly needed to vent and you all were there. Thank you beyond words.
Janie
The idea is to die young as late as possible
http://www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey
Today was Joe's (my husband) court date. The court lifted the "no contact" order. Since this was an abuse case, he can't come home until all the weapons (guns) are out of the house and no longer under his control. His son will be coming to collect them in a day or two. The court asked me if there was any statement that I would like the court to consider in making their sentencing decision. I made up a couple of paragraphs and read this to the court:
"It will do no good to sentence Joseph to jail. We as married partners need to work through these circumstances. I'm requesting that Joseph attend an alcoholic program and an anger management program. For myself, a program that can guide me through this trauma.
In our sixteen years of marriage he never physically abused me. I'm asking to allow him to come home so we can learn from the appropriate programs and heal together. Since I wasn't able to contact him or anyone surrounding him, I don't know how he feels about coming back home. I do know that whatever he decides to do concerning him and myself, I will respect that decision.
I believe our love for one another would warrant him to choose to come home and put this experience behind us so we can move on with our lives."
You know, he told the court that he believes that he is not an alcoholic and that if and when we drinks it will be sociable. He is giving me the key to give him permission to drink.
That really made me cringe. He is taking the responsibility off his shoulders and giving it up to me and therefore making me out to be the bad guy.
We still aren't able to sit down and talk yet. But I have to tell you, that there is a list of non-negotiable, negotiable and also a list of the things that will make me happy. On the non-negotiable list is that he goes into an alcoholic and anger management program. If there is any drinking at all for the rest of his life, me present or not, I will leave immediately and will never ever return to his life. I know it might sound horrid, but for my safety it truly has to be that way. Joe gave me no alternative.
There's a lot of fines that happened today. We won't be able to go for our Fall trip this year because of him. Also it is a learning process in progress. There will be more things that I will add or delete from my list for a long time to come.
I'm now going to go to a group gathering on Tuesdays for information about my trauma and on Thursdays meeting for other people like myself who have gone through what I have endured. Each meeting will take 6 weeks to complete. I'm putting in place a plan of escape for if and when I need it. So now for healing and learning.
Thanks for your ears, everyone, I truly needed to vent and you all were there. Thank you beyond words.
Janie
The idea is to die young as late as possible
http://www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey
