jloewe
Cathlete
A few months ago, I made mention of the fact that my brother in Colorado was going through a very difficult time with severe depression/marriage problems.
I just spent two days with him when he was a guest at my hotel as he came to visit our mother who is in a nursing home. I was astonished by what I saw.
Growing up, I idolized my brother, and did everything I possibly could to gain his approval and acceptance, if I had that, I was happy. He was my best friend, sometime father figure...I had no idea what would happen years later.
When did I become the big brother??? I don't know where it all went wrong for him, but I do know he never wanted children was even more adament about it than I was/am, yet he has two boys, both are well on their way to being successful, yet he never discusses them at all.
What upset me most of all is his refusal to take his meds for depression, and telling me I should do the same, that sort of began the downfall of our relationship.
I couldn't tell him not to come, as he has every right to see his mother, and we had a cordial visit, but when he started telling me about living with his wife in a loveless marriage under the same roof, having to pretty much start over again job-wise at age 56, it dawned on me that in years past I would have given anything to have what he had, and now I wouldn't trade places with him in a heartbeat.
I never knew I had so much, until I saw my own brother, who has so little, and I don't know how much sympathy I am supposed to have....alcohol, drugs, and various and other things have put him in the situation he has created for himself, he has a new job starting this week, and I hope for his sake, and that of his families', he stays clean and sober.
Hopefully, my talk with him about how I have changed for the better through exercise and a generally healthy lifestyle..( still gotta work on the diet...) has made me happier than I have been in years.
I can only hope.
Thanks for reading!
I just spent two days with him when he was a guest at my hotel as he came to visit our mother who is in a nursing home. I was astonished by what I saw.
Growing up, I idolized my brother, and did everything I possibly could to gain his approval and acceptance, if I had that, I was happy. He was my best friend, sometime father figure...I had no idea what would happen years later.
When did I become the big brother??? I don't know where it all went wrong for him, but I do know he never wanted children was even more adament about it than I was/am, yet he has two boys, both are well on their way to being successful, yet he never discusses them at all.
What upset me most of all is his refusal to take his meds for depression, and telling me I should do the same, that sort of began the downfall of our relationship.
I couldn't tell him not to come, as he has every right to see his mother, and we had a cordial visit, but when he started telling me about living with his wife in a loveless marriage under the same roof, having to pretty much start over again job-wise at age 56, it dawned on me that in years past I would have given anything to have what he had, and now I wouldn't trade places with him in a heartbeat.
I never knew I had so much, until I saw my own brother, who has so little, and I don't know how much sympathy I am supposed to have....alcohol, drugs, and various and other things have put him in the situation he has created for himself, he has a new job starting this week, and I hope for his sake, and that of his families', he stays clean and sober.
Hopefully, my talk with him about how I have changed for the better through exercise and a generally healthy lifestyle..( still gotta work on the diet...) has made me happier than I have been in years.
I can only hope.
Thanks for reading!