dani21496
Cathlete
My uncle sent this email to me today. 
I do not agree with this in any way...just thought it was humorous.
"Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must think logically. What does a cow eat? Hay, grass, and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass, a leafy green vegetable, and a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of mixed vegetable slop.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Sorry, can't think of a single one! My philosophy is: No Pain. . . Good.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO? Cocoa beans... another vegetable!
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and exercise."
I do not agree with this in any way...just thought it was humorous. "Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer. That's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must think logically. What does a cow eat? Hay, grass, and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass, a leafy green vegetable, and a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of mixed vegetable slop.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Sorry, can't think of a single one! My philosophy is: No Pain. . . Good.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO? Cocoa beans... another vegetable!
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and exercise."
