He's at it again. I hate my life

A

anonymous

Member
Well here we are again. I really am getting sick of his crap. He is so mean, so nasty, so hateful. There is never ever any peace in this house. It is so stressful. Life is so stressful already, how can one endure this type of suffering forever? What can I do? Divorce someone who is hateful, negative, and MEAN? I refuse to have shared custody of my kids. Why does he have to be jealous of my success? Why does he have to throw tantrums all day? If I defend myself, I am a you-know-what. If I cry, I am a wishy washy baby. If I am stone cold then I am a you-know-what. Why Can't I just freaking live life and be happy for one minute. I feel like I will have a heart attack...or a heart break.

Why can't he ever just say something nice? I am just venting, okay? Because I have no one. No one but you all.

Thank you for listening. I wish I could just give you all a big hug for caring so much.
 
I am sorry you are going through this. I know this is difficult. But in the end, it is YOU who has to make a decision. If there is mental of physical abuse you will need to report it to CPS, or have a friend report it.

If there is mental abuse of your children, you need to protect your children and get out of this, if not for your sake, for their sake. You are not doing your children any favor by staying and you are putting your children at risk.

If he is the way that you are describing him, you won't hear anything nice from him. You can only be responsible for what YOU do, not what someone else (he) does.

I hope you will be able to do the right thing for you and your children, whatever that may be.

Sending you lots of hugs!!
 
anonymous,

I remember reading your post from a little bit ago. I also posted about an abusive situation recently. I'm also still here in the same situation. I'm home, and he's out at the bar. So not the life I wanted. And when he comes home, I'LL BE THE RUDE ONE...in his eyes. For having the nerve to get upset about this.

Then comes the verbal abuse. I'm such a ()*&*@($&(!...I know what you mean about posting here and getting it off your chest. I know it's a bit embarassing...if you're anything like me, we're not the kind of women who would have ever thought to end up in this type of situation...yet here we are. And even harder is to tell the people we are close to, how bad things are. So, saying it like this is a bit of a relief, the women and men here are comforting. without judgment, but with encouragement. It's a rare thing to find.

I know you are posting under an anonymous name (obviously) but if you want to pm me, go ahead. I'm here.
 
I grew up in a violent negative home. It has affected me. But, I vowed I would never stay in a marriageif it was a hellhole. My mother was beaten when my father blew his temper. My mother had too many kids that she did not really want. She in turn took her misery out on her kids. Get out. It ain't worth living with an emotionally stunted partner who will not change until he has it between the ears to do so. My mother never had the gutse to get out. Now as an adult I do not tolerate any negactive emotions or people around me. I learnt that noboby cared about my emotions except me. One life. get out of it if you have the gutse and strength to do so. I eventually told my clan to sod off permantly. Couldn't hack it any longer. Move on, heal and open your eyes to the life that is out there. Sod what others think.
 
Final outcome.
I finally faced the truth, grew up emotionally as I'd never been nurtured or encouraged. Now, am TOUGHER applaud other who move forward with their lives (regardless how small the gain). Negactive folks don't get a lookin. Pain was a time for growth. learn the kessons QUICK or you'll still be where moaning and looking for a way out. Ball is in your court. You have to make the move. moaning about it won't solve the problem.
 
Anonymous,

Sorry you are going through this. I hope venting helped you feel a little better.

If I may share an opinion, too...I think it would do far more damage to the kids by staying in an abusive, toxic environment than it would be to leave. Children learn what they live, and so often those learned patterns are extremely difficult to break when they get older. Even if they are not directly bearing the brunt of your husband's anger, they are learning something every single day that they witness him treating you like garbage. Either they are learning how to verbally destroy someone, that it is normal to receive this kind of abuse, or they are learning not to respect you.

You and they deserve better.

Sending you (((HUGS))) and strength~

[font face="heather" font color=black size=+2]~Cathy[/font]

http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee296/runninteach/exercise/th_skj.gif

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From the little you mentioned in this and your last post, I gather you have a good job? You state you are successful and he hates that. YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL!! Sweet Pea you are good at something! You are better than he is at something!! Good for you. That is a big positive in your life.

You also have children, that too is a big positive in your life. You obviously work out, that is a positive! Theone negative is hubby!~ He's behaving this way deliberatly. He wants you to feel bad, he's pushing every button you have and he's succeeding.

Get some advice from your local police or womens counsellor in domestic violence. Do your police have special domestic violence officers? They would be a good place to start as they will realise the importance (and I stress the total and absolute importance) of confidentiality! You confidentiality. The workers in domestic violence understand the need not to betray your trust. They deal daily with people in your situation, they won't burn you! Before this goes on any further speak to someone for some advice. You will begin to feel stronger once you realise you are not in this alone.

Andrea
 
Been there, done that - the only solution is for you to GET OUT! He won't change because he doesn't think he's wrong - it's all your fault in his mind. It's hard, but it's worth it to get strong and get out. Help is out there for you - don't just vent, DO IT!
 
I am truly sorry that you and your children are going thru this. Fortunately my husband is a good guy but a few years ago we went thru a rough time. I realized that my own happiness depended on no one but me. I could leave or I could stay but I could not ask anyone else to be responsible for my happiness and peace of mind. That realization helped me alot to make up my mind about our situation and we did resolve the issues involved. But I want to stress this did not involve abuse.
 
Hugs and prayers your way. And, from what I read, there are women here that have experienced or still are what you are going through.
Please heed their advice. Life is too short and too valuable to be abused by someone else. You are worthy and your children are worthy.
 
I am so sorry to hear that. Please take care of yourself & your kiddos. I grew up in a verbally abusive situation and it is NOT a good environment. Do what you need to do, if you're successful then you don't need him.

Big ((HUGS)).
 
Do you want your children to grow up thinking this is okay behavior? Do you want them talking to their future spouses in the same way? Do you want them thinking that Mom has to be the doormat and take it?

If the answer to any of these questions is "no", then do something about it.

Diane
 
Sending you {{{HUGS}}}! You really do need to try to get out of this situation! Life is too short to take any form of abuse, and you can't go on like this esp. since he's getting more abusive!! Please try to get some professional help! Know that we're all sending you our positive vibes and hugs!!!:)
 
Sending hugs to you.

Ask yourself - What would you tell your children to do if they were in this situation?

I hope you find happiness.

Jo
 
If you have a minister, preacher or priest go talk to them. If you don't want to divorce him you have to find away to raise your children where they will have respect for thier spouse. If you show your husband respect even though he don't deserve it they will end up respecting you even more. If you are religious go get the books The Excellant Wife or Created to Be His Help Meet.

Sending you prayers.

Farrah
 
Well the flu is over. Now it is time to get yourself and children out of that situation. Start hiding a taperecorder so you have something to give your attorney instead of him getting any type of custody let it only be supervised. We can only pray for you you have to take the action. I can tell you if you were my sister i would come over there and give him the beating of his life for you! I will tell you this I was 18 when I thought I had the answers I married this guy I had been dating maybe 6 months and he started following me it was awful he got me fired because he would sit and watch me at my jobs if I talked to any man he came right in and caused something to get me fired I finally had enough I was a 1st Degree Black belt it was time I did something. I was in my bathroom and he started in the hallway I SNAPPED I flew out of the bathroom grabbed him by his throat and slammed him up against the wall and told him you know what I am capable of next time I will use what I know and you will never be the same I left him ended up pregnant and I was so ashamed Abortion was against everything in me but I was in no way shape or form going to have any connection to him ever so I terminated that pregnancy. My point is you can only take so much you have to do the rest and stand up for yourself.

I am 37 and I have tucked that away since I have been 20 I have never looked back I have never shared with anyone but I feel God needed me to say this like maybe you will get something out of it. You are a Mother it is your responsibility to protect those children. So you need to buck up and PROTECT them! Muster up that strength from down deep and do something about it.
beth6395

"Double Knot your laces and let's move on"
-Cathe Friedrich
 
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