Wow can I ask for lots of positive energy coming my way, or calming energy or whatever. They just announced voluntary severance packages where I work. And they were asked what if they didn’t reduce numbers enough – would there be a lay-off. They said that was on the table but wouldn’t say what there target number is. So now I sit here with my stomach in knots and general panic. DH and I work for the same company in a very rural part of MN. We have lots of property and a nice house with a barn for the horses. If something were to happen there is no way we could sell this place and there is no way we could afford something like this some where else. And what about the horses? Could we keep them? It would break my heart to lose them. We’ve been out of work before, almost 5 years of unemployment or under-employment. I know what it’s like and I know how tough it is. Right now I want to scream to the universe, “BEEN THERE DONE THAT!’

This stress on top of losing DF and DM going into her third chemo because the first two haven’t ‘cured’ her or put her in remission. DM’s first treatment was Monday and she seems to be handling this drug well. I’m glad of that. And all of this is causing my health to deteriorate. Please pray for me or whatever. I am embarrassed to ask but I really am just hanging by a thread currently.

On the exercise front I did 45 minutes on the bike on Monday and plan on doing that again tonight. And DH figured out what was going on with the sauna and thinks he’s got it fixed. (fingers crossed) I’m thinking next week of starting on some weight work.